I have always said that God is a gentleman. He will give you anything you ask for, but never force anything Ion you. He will wait patiently until you are ready. He will sit by and give you time to decide on your own. That was made very obvious to me (AGAIN!) today on my ride home from Charlotte. I was singing at the top of my lungs to my bike riding playlist to stay alert and not angry because of crazy traffic. Everything from Monster by Skillet to 1999 by Prince to Bicycle by Queen. About 30 miles from home, I decided to switch to a playlist I have of new worship songs. The first song that I listened to was Come Alive by Lauren Daigle. One of my new favs!! It got me excited. I was thinking about taking authority and calling things out. The chorus says "we call out to dry bones come alive". YES....we have that authority, we just don't walk in it every day like we are called to. I started thinking about how many "dry bones" and "dead hearts" there are even in churches. If we truly all STOOD UP for what we knew and believe in, this world would be incredibly amazingly different in a moment! I was pumped....feeling the power....then the 2nd song came on....
I had listened to it before. Mostly because I LOVE Steffany Gretzinger. I have said before she could sing the PHONEBOOK and I would cry. But this song had spoken to my heart before, but never like this. The bridge says "what hindered love only becomes part of the story". Ok, I knew that. All the craziness, tragedies, sadness, things I have been through are part of my story. They are what my testimony is made of.It's how I reach others for God. I knew that already Steffany....what else ya got?? I loved singing this song, the chorus and the bridge....but I didn't know the words to the verses. So, I replayed it and really decided to listen close to the words. Oh my God..my precious sweet loving God....He had a plan to give me a little nudge today... (I'm going to post the lyrics, and then talk a little...then at the end of the post, I will post the song itself. If you haven't heard it....get ready! It's awesome!)
Here's the first verse.....
Come out of hiding, You’re safe here with Me
There’s no need to cover what I already see
You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace
You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key
I know that I have had broken parts along the way. And I have thought that God healed them all too. But here's the thing....He stops when I reach the limit of what my heart and mind can handle at the moment. Then, when I am asking for more of God....He gently says, but wait, we still have a little more fixing to do. I listened to these words...come out of hiding....was I hiding? I felt like I wasn't. I am outgoing about everything I do, sharing my testimony, serving, being a mom, work....but was I still hiding from God??? No need to cover what He already sees....ok, God (and Steffany) ouch....that is hitting a little too close to home now. Then line 3 comes along....I get it, He says, you have your reasons Libby, you were hurt, really hurt, by someone who was supposed to love you, you thought you could trust, you have reasons to be afraid...But I hold YOUR peace. I thought I had peace, I did. But do I really? Do I have the peace that goes BEYOND ALL understanding? Do I not only have HIS peace, but MY peace that HE has for me? Then He hits me with the last line....I've been on lockdown, but if I would just go to Him, He has the KEY!!!! I have locked away the full 100% Libby. The one that He wants to know better. But I have to invite Him in. Again, gentleman.
Ok, so now the chorus, which I already knew, but was balling at this point....
‘Cause I loved you before you knew what was love
I saw it all, still I chose the cross
You were the one that I was thinking of
When I rose from the grave
Now rid of the shackles, My victory is yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You’re not far from home
Oh boy....He loved me during a time when I forgot what love was! He was there, even when I wasn't listening and was doing everything I could to ignore Him. I felt betrayed by Him, I felt abandoned by Him, He "let" that happen to me. But even when I was ignoring Him, he was patiently waiting for me to come running back....a gentleman I say. Then the end of the chorus....He said very clearly in my car today....Libby, there's no reason to stand at a distance now, come close, I made a way for YOU. Even if it was only for you...I did that.
Still balling, can't sing, trying to still drive....verse 2.....
And I’ll be your lighthouse when you’re lost at sea
I will illuminate everything
No need to be frightened by intimacy
No, just throw off your fear and come running to Me
When I was "lost at sea" in my own funk, He was the lighthouse waiting to guide me home. Constantly glowing, shining through all my darkness, to bring me back to Him. Then here was the hardest kick to the chest I got...why are you frightened of intimacy with Me? Finally Libby....lay down your fears, and come running home!!! I literally couldn't breath. Why am I hiding from Him? Why am I avoiding getting closer to Him even though I say I want more? Straight forward F-E-A-R of the unknown. Fear of being hurt, abandoned, left alone, fear of truly letting go of control.....
Then the very end of the song says "baby you're almost home now, please don't quit now"....another kick in the chest. WOW...I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I WAS already fully His. I didn't think I had it all figured out, or was super holy or anything....but I had no idea how much I was holding back from Him....and how much that was keeping Him from being able to give to me. All the things that He has stored up just for me.
I want more.....now what??? I don't know yet....
Take a moment, listen to the song....let it speak to your heart like it did mine today (about 10 times over!)
https://youtu.be/XFkDqQtfs0w
