I have always said that God is a gentleman. He will give you anything you ask for, but never force anything Ion you. He will wait patiently until you are ready. He will sit by and give you time to decide on your own. That was made very obvious to me (AGAIN!) today on my ride home from Charlotte. I was singing at the top of my lungs to my bike riding playlist to stay alert and not angry because of crazy traffic. Everything from Monster by Skillet to 1999 by Prince to Bicycle by Queen. About 30 miles from home, I decided to switch to a playlist I have of new worship songs. The first song that I listened to was Come Alive by Lauren Daigle. One of my new favs!! It got me excited. I was thinking about taking authority and calling things out. The chorus says "we call out to dry bones come alive". YES....we have that authority, we just don't walk in it every day like we are called to. I started thinking about how many "dry bones" and "dead hearts" there are even in churches. If we truly all STOOD UP for what we knew and believe in, this world would be incredibly amazingly different in a moment! I was pumped....feeling the power....then the 2nd song came on....
I had listened to it before. Mostly because I LOVE Steffany Gretzinger. I have said before she could sing the PHONEBOOK and I would cry. But this song had spoken to my heart before, but never like this. The bridge says "what hindered love only becomes part of the story". Ok, I knew that. All the craziness, tragedies, sadness, things I have been through are part of my story. They are what my testimony is made of.It's how I reach others for God. I knew that already Steffany....what else ya got?? I loved singing this song, the chorus and the bridge....but I didn't know the words to the verses. So, I replayed it and really decided to listen close to the words. Oh my God..my precious sweet loving God....He had a plan to give me a little nudge today... (I'm going to post the lyrics, and then talk a little...then at the end of the post, I will post the song itself. If you haven't heard it....get ready! It's awesome!)
Here's the first verse.....
Come out of hiding, You’re safe here with Me
There’s no need to cover what I already see
You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace
You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key
I know that I have had broken parts along the way. And I have thought that God healed them all too. But here's the thing....He stops when I reach the limit of what my heart and mind can handle at the moment. Then, when I am asking for more of God....He gently says, but wait, we still have a little more fixing to do. I listened to these words...come out of hiding....was I hiding? I felt like I wasn't. I am outgoing about everything I do, sharing my testimony, serving, being a mom, work....but was I still hiding from God??? No need to cover what He already sees....ok, God (and Steffany) ouch....that is hitting a little too close to home now. Then line 3 comes along....I get it, He says, you have your reasons Libby, you were hurt, really hurt, by someone who was supposed to love you, you thought you could trust, you have reasons to be afraid...But I hold YOUR peace. I thought I had peace, I did. But do I really? Do I have the peace that goes BEYOND ALL understanding? Do I not only have HIS peace, but MY peace that HE has for me? Then He hits me with the last line....I've been on lockdown, but if I would just go to Him, He has the KEY!!!! I have locked away the full 100% Libby. The one that He wants to know better. But I have to invite Him in. Again, gentleman.
Ok, so now the chorus, which I already knew, but was balling at this point....
‘Cause I loved you before you knew what was love
I saw it all, still I chose the cross
You were the one that I was thinking of
When I rose from the grave
Now rid of the shackles, My victory is yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You’re not far from home
Oh boy....He loved me during a time when I forgot what love was! He was there, even when I wasn't listening and was doing everything I could to ignore Him. I felt betrayed by Him, I felt abandoned by Him, He "let" that happen to me. But even when I was ignoring Him, he was patiently waiting for me to come running back....a gentleman I say. Then the end of the chorus....He said very clearly in my car today....Libby, there's no reason to stand at a distance now, come close, I made a way for YOU. Even if it was only for you...I did that.
Still balling, can't sing, trying to still drive....verse 2.....
And I’ll be your lighthouse when you’re lost at sea
I will illuminate everything
No need to be frightened by intimacy
No, just throw off your fear and come running to Me
When I was "lost at sea" in my own funk, He was the lighthouse waiting to guide me home. Constantly glowing, shining through all my darkness, to bring me back to Him. Then here was the hardest kick to the chest I got...why are you frightened of intimacy with Me? Finally Libby....lay down your fears, and come running home!!! I literally couldn't breath. Why am I hiding from Him? Why am I avoiding getting closer to Him even though I say I want more? Straight forward F-E-A-R of the unknown. Fear of being hurt, abandoned, left alone, fear of truly letting go of control.....
Then the very end of the song says "baby you're almost home now, please don't quit now"....another kick in the chest. WOW...I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I WAS already fully His. I didn't think I had it all figured out, or was super holy or anything....but I had no idea how much I was holding back from Him....and how much that was keeping Him from being able to give to me. All the things that He has stored up just for me.
I want more.....now what??? I don't know yet....
Take a moment, listen to the song....let it speak to your heart like it did mine today (about 10 times over!)
https://youtu.be/XFkDqQtfs0w
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Friday, June 23, 2017
All Because of Him
I have to take a few moments to brag on my sweet sweet hubby today. So if you don't like mushy gushy love stories, you might want to just look away.....
I am away this week at Camp Dayspring with my bestie doing what we do best....loving on kiddos!! We are having a blast! I am wore out, but still loving it! We have cooked, cleaned, swept, sweated, feed kids, talked with kids....but the best part for me, is doing worship with these adorable children. I got to be a part of Vertical Worship (our church's youth praise team) this week by doing the motions for worship. These kids are soaking it up!!! They love worshipping the Lord. They were told this week by one of the band members that worship was not meant to be boring, God wanted us to dance and sing and have fun doing it. And we totally are!!! I love leading kids in worship. I am 100% absolutely, positively doing exactly what I was made to do!
But here's the most important part....I couldn't be, or wouldn't be doing any of this if it weren't for my wonderful husband Dean. He is my biggest fan. He is my encourager. He is a voice straight from heaven for me. God speaks to me through this man all the time, when I don't always listen for myself. He kept pushing me and pushing me until I finally listened and asked Chasity if I could start helping upstairs with our kids ministry. The very first time I was up there, I knew I was in the right place. But I kept fighting it. Saying I didn't want to do stop being part of worship in "big" church. I wanted to stay connected, and be a part. But Dean consistantly said, "but that's not where you are supposed to be". He was always sweet about it, never pushed, but kept encouraging me week after week that I was supposed to be with those kids. And I am exactly where I am supposed to be. My heart for worship with the kids....I can't even explain it. I want our kids to understand what the difference between praising an amazing Lord and worshipping our Heavenly Father. How to let go and just love on our God. Kids aren't scared of what other people think. They have no fear. No inhibitions. They just worship!! I love that God lets me a part of this amazing minstry, with a group of incredible people!!!
Dean....thank you for loving me so much that you continue to push me towards my calling, even if it means you take a backseat in your own calling. You have spent the last 5 years encouraging me and my 3 girls to become all that God made us to be. We couldn't do any of the things we are doing....without having you in our corner every day!! I love you.....more and more every single day! Never stop being you!
I am away this week at Camp Dayspring with my bestie doing what we do best....loving on kiddos!! We are having a blast! I am wore out, but still loving it! We have cooked, cleaned, swept, sweated, feed kids, talked with kids....but the best part for me, is doing worship with these adorable children. I got to be a part of Vertical Worship (our church's youth praise team) this week by doing the motions for worship. These kids are soaking it up!!! They love worshipping the Lord. They were told this week by one of the band members that worship was not meant to be boring, God wanted us to dance and sing and have fun doing it. And we totally are!!! I love leading kids in worship. I am 100% absolutely, positively doing exactly what I was made to do!
But here's the most important part....I couldn't be, or wouldn't be doing any of this if it weren't for my wonderful husband Dean. He is my biggest fan. He is my encourager. He is a voice straight from heaven for me. God speaks to me through this man all the time, when I don't always listen for myself. He kept pushing me and pushing me until I finally listened and asked Chasity if I could start helping upstairs with our kids ministry. The very first time I was up there, I knew I was in the right place. But I kept fighting it. Saying I didn't want to do stop being part of worship in "big" church. I wanted to stay connected, and be a part. But Dean consistantly said, "but that's not where you are supposed to be". He was always sweet about it, never pushed, but kept encouraging me week after week that I was supposed to be with those kids. And I am exactly where I am supposed to be. My heart for worship with the kids....I can't even explain it. I want our kids to understand what the difference between praising an amazing Lord and worshipping our Heavenly Father. How to let go and just love on our God. Kids aren't scared of what other people think. They have no fear. No inhibitions. They just worship!! I love that God lets me a part of this amazing minstry, with a group of incredible people!!!
Dean....thank you for loving me so much that you continue to push me towards my calling, even if it means you take a backseat in your own calling. You have spent the last 5 years encouraging me and my 3 girls to become all that God made us to be. We couldn't do any of the things we are doing....without having you in our corner every day!! I love you.....more and more every single day! Never stop being you!
Monday, June 12, 2017
Lessons from a bicycle (Part 2)
I never thought I would say this, especially about any kind of exercise that involved the outdoors, but I do truly love riding my bike. I like riding sometimes by myself, and sometimes with my sweetheart, and sometimes with friends. But there is something special about riding by yourself, really getting quiet, blocking out the world, and just being in that exact moment. Not thinking about work, or the bathroom that needs painting, or the dishes that need washed, or the lesson I need to study, or the song I need to learn, or the kid that has to take a shower today because she stinks like a boy, or any other squirrel topic that my mind runs to. I can just truly enjoy the ride.
I know I have already written a post very similar to this, but it just really spoke to my heart this morning as I was riding. I was torn between needing to stop and write down some notes before I forgot and not wanting to stop riding on this beautiful morning. Needless to say, I kept riding, finished 10 miles this morning before a lot of the world was awake....but I jotted down my notes as soon as I got back in the car. Honestly, this may become 2 posts, but here we go.....
1. I've been trying to concentrate lately on my cadence, my own personal rhythm on the bike. Notice I didn't say speed, I said rhythm, meaning the way my legs work to spin the pedals. A good friend told me a couple of weeks ago, it wasn't about the speed the bike goes, its about the rhythm of your spin, your cadence. That no matter what hill was ahead, use your bike gears and your body to keep your cadence consistent. Here's the catch....I didn't say I needed to keep up with my sweetie, or my friend, or another rider in the park, or anyone else for that matter. It's MY cadence, and only MY cadence. As a musician, what I tend to do is what ever song is playing in my ears...the beat of that song becomes my cadence for the next 3-4 minutes. It's almost a game to me, to find the beat, and then stick with it, using my gears to be able to better pedal and keep my rhythm going. Think about that with life....there are plenty of cliche sayings that go right along with this....march to the beat to YOUR own drum. Done!
2. Fight through the pain....your reward is coming. For 5 solid weeks my hiney has hurt more than I can explain. Trying to get used to a new bike saddle is no fun. Every time I sit down, I would twinge in pain because there were serious bruises. BUT...I stuck with it, I pushed through, no matter how it hurt, although I may have complained and cried a little even, I kept riding my bike. Today was the first day since I started that it didn't hurt. I was so excited! I almost didn't want to stop at 10 miles!! Here again...big life lesson....we all know it....life isn't always easy. No one ever promised us it would be. But in the end...WE WIN!!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Look at the back of the book....the devil always loses in the end. So hang in there friend, keep pedaling, keep pushing, keep fighting....your reward, your blessing, your prince charming, your provision, your answer, your peace is coming.
3. My hubby always says to me...eat the elephant one bite at a time. Meaning, don't try to do something all at once, that takes steps to complete. I think I talked before about riding uphill, that I had to focus on the tiny bit of road in front of me, not looking for the crest of the hill. That is still true. But here's the other thing... I don't want to set goals for myself that are so far out there that I can't attain them. Break it up into smaller goals. Eat the elephant one bite at a time! So the greenway that I ride in the mornings, is about a 5 mile loop (of sorts). One end is a huge hill, I don't like to park there, because I don't want my last mile to be totally uphill. So I start about a mile and a half down the path. So I go up the hill first, and then do the rest of the loop. For the last couple of weeks riding there, I finish that first mile in a little over 6 mins. Which I was ok with....but today, I was determined to do it in less than 5 minutes. (Keep in mind, the first week I rode there, my goal was to not get off the bike, now I am trying to go faster up the hill!!!) So I pushed, I pedaled harder, I didn't stop for water at the top, I just kept pedaling as fast as I could....and at the mile mark, the app on my phone said, "total distance 1 mile, total time 5 mins 46 seconds, average speed 10.3 mph". I couldn't believe it!!! As I flew down the hill, my heart soared, I was so proud of myself for doing it. Here's the thing....you can't make your goals too big or too little....challenge yourself, but don't make it so far out of reach that you constantly feel defeated. I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day, and I didn't make that up!
4. This one hit me like a ton of bricks. Sort of goes hand in hand with the goal talk from above... Don't coast too long, you might miss something. When there are hills (in biking or life), once you push through and crest that hill (or struggle) it's easy to just sit back, smile, and coast away. But if I spend half of my work out coasting....and I really exercising anymore?? Same thing in life, if I get in a comfortable spot, and just coast... am I really doing all I can do? For myself? For my family? For my church? For my God? I still have to move and work, and be ready for the next hill that is coming just around the corner.
5. Most days I try to remember to eat something before I go riding...today, I was so excited to get outside I forgot completely. Usually I will grab a banana, or a protein shake, something simple, just to get some fuel in my stomach. Today I could tell that I forgot. It didn't stop me from riding, it just made a few parts a little more difficult, and I was starving by the time I got home. Apply that to life...if you don't fuel your spirit, how can you be all that you can be for the kingdom? I can work every week in the children's ministry, pouring out myself, giving everything I have for Jesus and those kids. But eventually, I will be empty if I am not doing my part to be filled every day too. Fuel your body, fuel your mind, fuel your soul. Eat healthy, learn something every day, be in His Word, pray, attend service with your church family, be in a bible study. Fuel your entire body!
6. Ok, I know this is getting long, but I had to get it all out, and I saved the best story for last. When I ride, even if I have my headphones in, I try to be cordial to everyone. Say good morning, wave, smile, whatever I can. There was this one lady, who would never smile or wave back, ever! She seemed kind of odd to me actually. Always wears a coat and gloves to walk in the park...in the summertime! Odd!! Anyways, when I was riding last Friday, headed towards the big hill of the loop (for the 2nd time), she was walking up the hill. It worried me to death, because I was afraid she would be able to walk up the hill faster than I could pedal. LOL It made me super nervous as I was getting closer. She turned around and saw me coming, and moved a little more to the right side of the path for me. I thought, great, she gets it, its not an easy hill. Well right as I get ready to pass her, she holds up her finger and starts to say something. I almost wrecked trying to stop, pull out my earbuds, and talk to her. She then proceeds to chew me out, says I am supposed to say "on your left" as I pass someone, that it is the rules of the road. I apologized, I thought she saw me, and I told her I thought she was listening to music and wouldn't hear me. She said in response "NO! I have seen you multiple times, and you never say it!" I was completely flabbergasted! I didn't know how to respond really. I was totally caught off guard. So I said ok, and started pedaling again. The entire rest of that ride, I stewed over that lady. I let it distract me. I rode thinking of things I should have said, or could have said to her. I was waiting for the next chance I would get to scream "ON YOUR LEFT!!!!" the next time I passed her. I let it get under my skin. Well, fast forward to this morning. I was hoping I wouldn't run into her. That maybe I had gotten there before she did. Then I saw her up ahead, in that crazy coat again! Plenty ahead of time, before I passed her, I politely said "on your left", she scooted over a little, and I kept on riding. No harm, no foul. I continued my ride for about 15 more minutes before I saw her again, this time we were headed towards each other face to face. As I got closer, for the first time, she smiled and waved at me. As I passed her, it hit me...I don't know what she goes through on a daily basis, I don't know her at all. That little encounter might have made her day. The fact that she said something and someone listened to her and tried what she said....made her smile. And all I had to do was say "on your left".....now, all I have to say is apply that to life!! Do something simple that could make someone's day!!!
Love yall....thanks for letting me ramble!
I know I have already written a post very similar to this, but it just really spoke to my heart this morning as I was riding. I was torn between needing to stop and write down some notes before I forgot and not wanting to stop riding on this beautiful morning. Needless to say, I kept riding, finished 10 miles this morning before a lot of the world was awake....but I jotted down my notes as soon as I got back in the car. Honestly, this may become 2 posts, but here we go.....
1. I've been trying to concentrate lately on my cadence, my own personal rhythm on the bike. Notice I didn't say speed, I said rhythm, meaning the way my legs work to spin the pedals. A good friend told me a couple of weeks ago, it wasn't about the speed the bike goes, its about the rhythm of your spin, your cadence. That no matter what hill was ahead, use your bike gears and your body to keep your cadence consistent. Here's the catch....I didn't say I needed to keep up with my sweetie, or my friend, or another rider in the park, or anyone else for that matter. It's MY cadence, and only MY cadence. As a musician, what I tend to do is what ever song is playing in my ears...the beat of that song becomes my cadence for the next 3-4 minutes. It's almost a game to me, to find the beat, and then stick with it, using my gears to be able to better pedal and keep my rhythm going. Think about that with life....there are plenty of cliche sayings that go right along with this....march to the beat to YOUR own drum. Done!
2. Fight through the pain....your reward is coming. For 5 solid weeks my hiney has hurt more than I can explain. Trying to get used to a new bike saddle is no fun. Every time I sit down, I would twinge in pain because there were serious bruises. BUT...I stuck with it, I pushed through, no matter how it hurt, although I may have complained and cried a little even, I kept riding my bike. Today was the first day since I started that it didn't hurt. I was so excited! I almost didn't want to stop at 10 miles!! Here again...big life lesson....we all know it....life isn't always easy. No one ever promised us it would be. But in the end...WE WIN!!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Look at the back of the book....the devil always loses in the end. So hang in there friend, keep pedaling, keep pushing, keep fighting....your reward, your blessing, your prince charming, your provision, your answer, your peace is coming.
3. My hubby always says to me...eat the elephant one bite at a time. Meaning, don't try to do something all at once, that takes steps to complete. I think I talked before about riding uphill, that I had to focus on the tiny bit of road in front of me, not looking for the crest of the hill. That is still true. But here's the other thing... I don't want to set goals for myself that are so far out there that I can't attain them. Break it up into smaller goals. Eat the elephant one bite at a time! So the greenway that I ride in the mornings, is about a 5 mile loop (of sorts). One end is a huge hill, I don't like to park there, because I don't want my last mile to be totally uphill. So I start about a mile and a half down the path. So I go up the hill first, and then do the rest of the loop. For the last couple of weeks riding there, I finish that first mile in a little over 6 mins. Which I was ok with....but today, I was determined to do it in less than 5 minutes. (Keep in mind, the first week I rode there, my goal was to not get off the bike, now I am trying to go faster up the hill!!!) So I pushed, I pedaled harder, I didn't stop for water at the top, I just kept pedaling as fast as I could....and at the mile mark, the app on my phone said, "total distance 1 mile, total time 5 mins 46 seconds, average speed 10.3 mph". I couldn't believe it!!! As I flew down the hill, my heart soared, I was so proud of myself for doing it. Here's the thing....you can't make your goals too big or too little....challenge yourself, but don't make it so far out of reach that you constantly feel defeated. I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day, and I didn't make that up!
4. This one hit me like a ton of bricks. Sort of goes hand in hand with the goal talk from above... Don't coast too long, you might miss something. When there are hills (in biking or life), once you push through and crest that hill (or struggle) it's easy to just sit back, smile, and coast away. But if I spend half of my work out coasting....and I really exercising anymore?? Same thing in life, if I get in a comfortable spot, and just coast... am I really doing all I can do? For myself? For my family? For my church? For my God? I still have to move and work, and be ready for the next hill that is coming just around the corner.
5. Most days I try to remember to eat something before I go riding...today, I was so excited to get outside I forgot completely. Usually I will grab a banana, or a protein shake, something simple, just to get some fuel in my stomach. Today I could tell that I forgot. It didn't stop me from riding, it just made a few parts a little more difficult, and I was starving by the time I got home. Apply that to life...if you don't fuel your spirit, how can you be all that you can be for the kingdom? I can work every week in the children's ministry, pouring out myself, giving everything I have for Jesus and those kids. But eventually, I will be empty if I am not doing my part to be filled every day too. Fuel your body, fuel your mind, fuel your soul. Eat healthy, learn something every day, be in His Word, pray, attend service with your church family, be in a bible study. Fuel your entire body!
6. Ok, I know this is getting long, but I had to get it all out, and I saved the best story for last. When I ride, even if I have my headphones in, I try to be cordial to everyone. Say good morning, wave, smile, whatever I can. There was this one lady, who would never smile or wave back, ever! She seemed kind of odd to me actually. Always wears a coat and gloves to walk in the park...in the summertime! Odd!! Anyways, when I was riding last Friday, headed towards the big hill of the loop (for the 2nd time), she was walking up the hill. It worried me to death, because I was afraid she would be able to walk up the hill faster than I could pedal. LOL It made me super nervous as I was getting closer. She turned around and saw me coming, and moved a little more to the right side of the path for me. I thought, great, she gets it, its not an easy hill. Well right as I get ready to pass her, she holds up her finger and starts to say something. I almost wrecked trying to stop, pull out my earbuds, and talk to her. She then proceeds to chew me out, says I am supposed to say "on your left" as I pass someone, that it is the rules of the road. I apologized, I thought she saw me, and I told her I thought she was listening to music and wouldn't hear me. She said in response "NO! I have seen you multiple times, and you never say it!" I was completely flabbergasted! I didn't know how to respond really. I was totally caught off guard. So I said ok, and started pedaling again. The entire rest of that ride, I stewed over that lady. I let it distract me. I rode thinking of things I should have said, or could have said to her. I was waiting for the next chance I would get to scream "ON YOUR LEFT!!!!" the next time I passed her. I let it get under my skin. Well, fast forward to this morning. I was hoping I wouldn't run into her. That maybe I had gotten there before she did. Then I saw her up ahead, in that crazy coat again! Plenty ahead of time, before I passed her, I politely said "on your left", she scooted over a little, and I kept on riding. No harm, no foul. I continued my ride for about 15 more minutes before I saw her again, this time we were headed towards each other face to face. As I got closer, for the first time, she smiled and waved at me. As I passed her, it hit me...I don't know what she goes through on a daily basis, I don't know her at all. That little encounter might have made her day. The fact that she said something and someone listened to her and tried what she said....made her smile. And all I had to do was say "on your left".....now, all I have to say is apply that to life!! Do something simple that could make someone's day!!!
Love yall....thanks for letting me ramble!
Sunday, June 4, 2017
My Mind is a Whirlwind
Tonight Dean and I sat down and watched the movie The Shack. We had both read the book, so we sort of knew what to expect...but still. I was in a much different place when I read it, and so I was very interested to see how the story affected me now. Many many many things caught me off guard tonight that I didn't expect to affect me the way it did. I will probably write about quite a few of them this week, I need to mull them over a little more. I actually took notes while watching the movie!! LOL!!
But the idea that struck me most in the movie, linked to what I talked about with the kids in KidsTime this morning too. In KidsTime we talked about the story of Moses being sent down the river in a basket by his mother to save his life. We talked about how she had limited time and opportunity to influence this child for God. We applied that to our lives by talking about how to share your story with others. I spoke about them having limited time to share with some people. For example, with summer coming, this may be the last time they see some of their friends. We talked about knowing your audience. For someone to be truly influenced by what you have to say, they have to see that you care about who they are and what they are going through. Lastly, we talked about finding the opportunity. To pay attention, and listen, and know how to respond. The main point I tried my best to explain this morning was to share their story, all they needed to do was tell people who God was to them, what He had done in their lives. So I asked the kids....if someone said to you today, "who is God to you?", what would you say? They gave some amazing answers! Really blew my mind. We discussed how even though God was one thing to one person, He could still be something completely different to someone else at the exact same time. He was exactly what we needed when we need it.
Then comes this movie.... Abigail watched it with us. We had to pause occasionally to explain some things to her. One of the big ones was why God The Father was a big happy black women in the beginning, and then an aging Asian man later in the story. I tried to relate it to our lesson, and explain to her that God had to be who Mac needed in that exact moment, and that it could be different every moment, or the same. That He loved him so much, He wanted to do whatever He could to make it easier for Mac to truly hear what He had to say.
Then I started thinking....how would I answer that question that I posed to the kids this morning? Who is God to me? Honestly....I'm not sure right now. I need more. But I don't know what I need or expect from Him at this point in my life. I trust Him, I believe, I have faith...but do I depend on Him? Do I allow him to be Papa? Do I talk with Him like I truly care for Him and want to spend time with Him? Do I completely let Him into my life? Can I say that I give Him full control?
This movie has really wrecked me tonight. Brought up lots of good things, as well as lots of bad. I have a lot of digging to do this week to decide how I feel about a lot of things. I have to say, if you have not seen it yet, you need to. But be sure to grab some kleenex first.....you're going to need them!!!
More to come.....
But the idea that struck me most in the movie, linked to what I talked about with the kids in KidsTime this morning too. In KidsTime we talked about the story of Moses being sent down the river in a basket by his mother to save his life. We talked about how she had limited time and opportunity to influence this child for God. We applied that to our lives by talking about how to share your story with others. I spoke about them having limited time to share with some people. For example, with summer coming, this may be the last time they see some of their friends. We talked about knowing your audience. For someone to be truly influenced by what you have to say, they have to see that you care about who they are and what they are going through. Lastly, we talked about finding the opportunity. To pay attention, and listen, and know how to respond. The main point I tried my best to explain this morning was to share their story, all they needed to do was tell people who God was to them, what He had done in their lives. So I asked the kids....if someone said to you today, "who is God to you?", what would you say? They gave some amazing answers! Really blew my mind. We discussed how even though God was one thing to one person, He could still be something completely different to someone else at the exact same time. He was exactly what we needed when we need it.
Then comes this movie.... Abigail watched it with us. We had to pause occasionally to explain some things to her. One of the big ones was why God The Father was a big happy black women in the beginning, and then an aging Asian man later in the story. I tried to relate it to our lesson, and explain to her that God had to be who Mac needed in that exact moment, and that it could be different every moment, or the same. That He loved him so much, He wanted to do whatever He could to make it easier for Mac to truly hear what He had to say.
Then I started thinking....how would I answer that question that I posed to the kids this morning? Who is God to me? Honestly....I'm not sure right now. I need more. But I don't know what I need or expect from Him at this point in my life. I trust Him, I believe, I have faith...but do I depend on Him? Do I allow him to be Papa? Do I talk with Him like I truly care for Him and want to spend time with Him? Do I completely let Him into my life? Can I say that I give Him full control?
This movie has really wrecked me tonight. Brought up lots of good things, as well as lots of bad. I have a lot of digging to do this week to decide how I feel about a lot of things. I have to say, if you have not seen it yet, you need to. But be sure to grab some kleenex first.....you're going to need them!!!
More to come.....
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
I need to stop being a squirrel
If you have spent more than 5 minutes with me you know I have the attention span of a gnat. It is not out of meanness, or anything like that, I want to listen, I want to be engaged, but my mind races all day every day. It's like a constant game of pinball in there. (For those born after 1980 out there, google it, it was a game before Nintendo came into the world. lol) Anyways, thoughts are constantly reeling through my mind..I gotta do this, I need to go there, I'm hungry, I really should go to the grocery store, I need to send so and so a card, Abigail needs a bathing suit, I should wash our sheets today, oh the dog needs a bath, what is our lesson on this week for KidsTime, I need to text Chasity about that, what time do I need to be at the school today, that's a new blog idea, **Insert random 80s one hit wonder song lyrics here for no good reason**, I want to make meatloaf this week, I have to remember to buy sunscreen this week, a new card making idea, wow look at that on ebay, I wonder what Dean is doing right now, I need to be sure and watch the new Once Upon a Time later....this is just a sampling. And the craziest part....that is only about 30 seconds worth. I can't slow it down. It is just how my brain works, how I was built, I am 100 mph all over the place all the time. To add insult to injury I'm a planner too. There are usually about 10 lists going on at the same time in my head. At least 4 notebooks within arm's distance at any given moment. (Sorry honey...I still prefer paper rather than my phone!) I just go, go, go all the time.
I struggle ALOT to rest. To slow down enough for my mind to stop, even for a few minutes. It's so bad, that if I get up in the middle of the night to tinkle (which I do about 3 times a night!!) I keep my eyes closed, don't turn on any lights, stagger to the bathroom, and do everything I can to stay half way in a state of slumber, and then go right back to the same position I just left in the bed. Because if I get the slightest bit awake....the pinball game awakens in my head, and sleepy time is all over. I think I have said it before, that God allows something big to happen to me (back surgery, the flu, biggest baddest stomach bug ever) so that I will actually stop and sit down for a few days in a row. Honestly, I think there is another one coming real soon.....just feel it. You would think that I would learn my lesson....but I'm hard headed too. LOL!!
I say all of this to give you some back story before my main point tonight.... I need a true encounter with God. A Holy Ghost gets a hold of me and won't let go until I am face down on the floor crying like a baby kind of encounter. I just need to be overwhelmed with His presence. I know many of you out there are saying, well just stop, get quiet, and ask Him for it. Did you not read the first 2 paragraphs??? I don't do that!!! Unfortunately I need it to be in a group setting so I can really focus in on that type of environment. At home, there's too much distraction....phones dinging, kids talking, dog barking, TVs blaring, music from the bathroom playing, neighbors shooting off canons (yes, that is for real!), washing machines running....just TOO much all around. I need an encounter with God. Don't get me wrong, I know He is with me, He has given me little tidbits here and there lately, but I need more. I feel emptied out right now. I need to be filled again. I'm not burnt out, or tired of what I do, or needing a break, or anything like that (don't freak out Chasity!), I just need to be filled to overflow.
On my way home from the store tonight, I turned my favorite quiet time song on in the car. "A Little Longer" by Bethel. Dean has always said this is sort of my theme song. If you have never heard it, go find it on YouTube, you won't regret it. The basic gist of the song is the lady asks God what else can she do for Him, that no matter what she does, it doesn't ever seem like enough. That's me! I do and do and do, and I love it that way, I honestly do. I don't think God would begrudge me that. I love serving, helping, being creative, I do. But the second half of the song is God's response to her busy-ness (MY busy-ness!) The song says "I hear you say you don't have to do a thing, simply be with me and let those things go. They can wait another minute. Wait. This moment is too sweet. Please stay here with me and love on me a little longer 'cause I'm in love with you." THAT'S what I need....THAT kind of moment. To just stop the world from spinning, and BE with Him, feel His spirit with me. I don't need some big prophecy, or word from God, I just need an encounter, a moment of quiet with Him.
I'm not sure yet how or when....but I know without a doubt I need an encounter with my God. It's time for MORE LORD!
I struggle ALOT to rest. To slow down enough for my mind to stop, even for a few minutes. It's so bad, that if I get up in the middle of the night to tinkle (which I do about 3 times a night!!) I keep my eyes closed, don't turn on any lights, stagger to the bathroom, and do everything I can to stay half way in a state of slumber, and then go right back to the same position I just left in the bed. Because if I get the slightest bit awake....the pinball game awakens in my head, and sleepy time is all over. I think I have said it before, that God allows something big to happen to me (back surgery, the flu, biggest baddest stomach bug ever) so that I will actually stop and sit down for a few days in a row. Honestly, I think there is another one coming real soon.....just feel it. You would think that I would learn my lesson....but I'm hard headed too. LOL!!
I say all of this to give you some back story before my main point tonight.... I need a true encounter with God. A Holy Ghost gets a hold of me and won't let go until I am face down on the floor crying like a baby kind of encounter. I just need to be overwhelmed with His presence. I know many of you out there are saying, well just stop, get quiet, and ask Him for it. Did you not read the first 2 paragraphs??? I don't do that!!! Unfortunately I need it to be in a group setting so I can really focus in on that type of environment. At home, there's too much distraction....phones dinging, kids talking, dog barking, TVs blaring, music from the bathroom playing, neighbors shooting off canons (yes, that is for real!), washing machines running....just TOO much all around. I need an encounter with God. Don't get me wrong, I know He is with me, He has given me little tidbits here and there lately, but I need more. I feel emptied out right now. I need to be filled again. I'm not burnt out, or tired of what I do, or needing a break, or anything like that (don't freak out Chasity!), I just need to be filled to overflow.
On my way home from the store tonight, I turned my favorite quiet time song on in the car. "A Little Longer" by Bethel. Dean has always said this is sort of my theme song. If you have never heard it, go find it on YouTube, you won't regret it. The basic gist of the song is the lady asks God what else can she do for Him, that no matter what she does, it doesn't ever seem like enough. That's me! I do and do and do, and I love it that way, I honestly do. I don't think God would begrudge me that. I love serving, helping, being creative, I do. But the second half of the song is God's response to her busy-ness (MY busy-ness!) The song says "I hear you say you don't have to do a thing, simply be with me and let those things go. They can wait another minute. Wait. This moment is too sweet. Please stay here with me and love on me a little longer 'cause I'm in love with you." THAT'S what I need....THAT kind of moment. To just stop the world from spinning, and BE with Him, feel His spirit with me. I don't need some big prophecy, or word from God, I just need an encounter, a moment of quiet with Him.
I'm not sure yet how or when....but I know without a doubt I need an encounter with my God. It's time for MORE LORD!
Monday, May 29, 2017
Lower Your Expectations of the World
A couple of weeks ago pastor said something in a message that sort of stuck in my craw. He said we needed to lower our expectations on our spouse, and raise our expectations of our Mighty God. I wasn't sure how I felt about that one. I didn't necessarily disagree, but I didn't agree either. I had to chew on it for a while. I mean, I do think that sometimes I don't depend on God enough for things. That to me, some things seem too small to bother God with. So, I was kind of on board with the raising the expectations there. But why did I have to lower what I expected from my spouse? How was that fair?
Then it hit me.... I have to lower my expectations of my spouse for one big reason...because he's not me! I can't expect him to think like me, or act like me, or believe like me, or want things like me, or feel like me, or see things like me, do things like me....because HE IS NOT ME! Men and women were not created to be the same. We were created to be helpmates, not the carbon copies of each other! We should compliment each other. Pick up where the other leaves off. Be good at things that they may not be. I can't get mad at him for not doing things the way I would. Honestly, it just causes unnecessary strife.
Dean and I understand this concept pretty well for the most part. You have to pick and choose your battles in any relationship, especially a marriage. There are SOOOOOO many things not worth arguing over, but so many couple do every day. I have worked very hard to just let things go. It was a struggle for me. Ok, here's something you may not know about me....I have control issues! LOL If you know me at all, you know I have control issues. I like doing it all myself. I have had to learn to let Dean help me, to take over some things, and to do things his way. It's honestly a daily struggle sometimes. I have to CHOOSE to let go, and let him help me. About a year after we got married, I had to have back surgery. It literally knocked me on my butt. I had no choice but to sit down and stay down, for quite a while. It was HARD for me, no joke! God used that time to really show me how to truly depend on my sweet spouse. I didn't have a choice. I honestly believe God designed it that way. He used that season to teach me to let go. But not only to let go, and let Dean help me. But to also be ok if he did it differently. If he didn't do things in the order I would have. Or he let Abigail go to school with mismatched clothes on. Or if he didn't cook things for dinner the way I would have. Or he let the girls eat pizza for breakfast. I had to see that just because he didn't do things the way that I would....didn't mean it was wrong.
Here's the crazy part of all of this... this idea applies to so many other people too....my kids, my coworkers, my boss, my parents, people in general....none of them are me!!
Lower your expectations of the people around you....raise the expectations of your God....and live a more peaceful life!
Then it hit me.... I have to lower my expectations of my spouse for one big reason...because he's not me! I can't expect him to think like me, or act like me, or believe like me, or want things like me, or feel like me, or see things like me, do things like me....because HE IS NOT ME! Men and women were not created to be the same. We were created to be helpmates, not the carbon copies of each other! We should compliment each other. Pick up where the other leaves off. Be good at things that they may not be. I can't get mad at him for not doing things the way I would. Honestly, it just causes unnecessary strife.
Dean and I understand this concept pretty well for the most part. You have to pick and choose your battles in any relationship, especially a marriage. There are SOOOOOO many things not worth arguing over, but so many couple do every day. I have worked very hard to just let things go. It was a struggle for me. Ok, here's something you may not know about me....I have control issues! LOL If you know me at all, you know I have control issues. I like doing it all myself. I have had to learn to let Dean help me, to take over some things, and to do things his way. It's honestly a daily struggle sometimes. I have to CHOOSE to let go, and let him help me. About a year after we got married, I had to have back surgery. It literally knocked me on my butt. I had no choice but to sit down and stay down, for quite a while. It was HARD for me, no joke! God used that time to really show me how to truly depend on my sweet spouse. I didn't have a choice. I honestly believe God designed it that way. He used that season to teach me to let go. But not only to let go, and let Dean help me. But to also be ok if he did it differently. If he didn't do things in the order I would have. Or he let Abigail go to school with mismatched clothes on. Or if he didn't cook things for dinner the way I would have. Or he let the girls eat pizza for breakfast. I had to see that just because he didn't do things the way that I would....didn't mean it was wrong.
Here's the crazy part of all of this... this idea applies to so many other people too....my kids, my coworkers, my boss, my parents, people in general....none of them are me!!
Lower your expectations of the people around you....raise the expectations of your God....and live a more peaceful life!
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
I want to ride my bicycle....
So as many of you have seen on facebook, I am quickly becoming addicted to riding a bicycle. It is TOTALLY a new found sanctuary for me. It's so peaceful, and quiet, and beautiful!! I like biking with Dean, having a hobby we can share is amazing! I totally understand his desire to ride, I really never thought I would. He said all along that I had to find an exercise that I enjoyed, not just tolerated, and he was right. (Dean, write the date down, I said you were right this once! LOL) Anyways, I do love riding with my hushpuppy....but I love riding alone ALOT!!! There are quite a few things I have learned this week from riding my bike. I could not help but see the similarities that God was screaming at me! So I decided I had to share.....
1. You want different results you HAVE to be willing to try different things.
Seems simple enough, right?? But we all do it! My weight loss has been at a plateau for a while, and it was beginning to frustrate me. But I was doing the same old same old every day!! Eating the same things, doing the same exercises at the gym. I finally realized it was time to challenge myself, to push myself to a new level.
We whine and complete because nothing is changing, but we are not willing to change the things we do every day. I heard LONG ago, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If I eat popcorn and caramel M&Ms everyday (hey...no judgement!!), but get mad because I am not losing any more weight...or if I never change the oil in my car, and it stalls out on me on the interstate....I forget everyday to water my vegetable garden but can't figure out why nothing is growing...or my kids misbehave everyday because I don't take the time and effort to discipline them...or I don't take the time to invest in growing my marriage and I see my husband ooggling over a women at work....if I am not willing to change myself and my actions, I can't be mad at anyone but myself.
1. You want different results you HAVE to be willing to try different things.
Seems simple enough, right?? But we all do it! My weight loss has been at a plateau for a while, and it was beginning to frustrate me. But I was doing the same old same old every day!! Eating the same things, doing the same exercises at the gym. I finally realized it was time to challenge myself, to push myself to a new level.
We whine and complete because nothing is changing, but we are not willing to change the things we do every day. I heard LONG ago, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If I eat popcorn and caramel M&Ms everyday (hey...no judgement!!), but get mad because I am not losing any more weight...or if I never change the oil in my car, and it stalls out on me on the interstate....I forget everyday to water my vegetable garden but can't figure out why nothing is growing...or my kids misbehave everyday because I don't take the time and effort to discipline them...or I don't take the time to invest in growing my marriage and I see my husband ooggling over a women at work....if I am not willing to change myself and my actions, I can't be mad at anyone but myself.
2. Make small changes for BIG results
On a bicycle the smallest adjustment to the seat, or what you wear, or where you ride...all completely change the experience. Shifting the angle of the seat the slightest millimeter can make all the difference! Wearing bicycle gloves can SAVE your palms!!! Padded shorts are a GOD SENT!!! LOL
Apply that to life....spend 5 more mins a day in the word, or 5 more mins a day in prayer and see how it changes your spiritual life. Take a Friday night and take your spouse on a date, just the 2 of you, somewhere without kids, and without cell phones and watch your relationship explode! How much effort does it really take to start the snowball rolling? What kind of teeny tiny peeble makes HUGE ripples in the water?
3. Don't look at the top of the hill, look at the 2 feet in foot of you
The first time I tried to ride up a pretty decent sized hill, I kept staring way off in the distance at the top of the hill. I thought I would NEVER get to the top. And you know what...I never did!! I stopped and walked my bike up the hill. I was so disappointed in myself, so discouraged. Dean of course was great, told me not to stress about it, that really soon that hill would seem like nothing to me. Well, a few days later I decided to ride that same hill on a ride myself, I was not going to be defeated by a silly hill. So I tried to get a running start to the hill first. (Make a plan, get prepared, start at the beginning and work toward the top) Then when the hill started, I put my head and down and pushed myself! (That's a word right there!!! Put your head down and FOCUS, look at nothing else. Don't let the devil distract you off your path.) I watched only the 2 feet in the front of the bike. Not the 100 feet straight up in front of me!! Take it one little step at a time. Eat the elephant one bite at a time.
4. Take time to soak it all in
I don't want to ride so fast and so hard that I don't see the beauty all around me. I want to see the trees, to smell the honeysuckle, the feel the breeze on my face, to soak in the praise music in my ears, to hear God's little whisper. I need to slow down and smell the roses!! Seriously!! I have a REAAAAALLLLYYYYY hard time slowing down, stopping my brain, and resting. I go go go ALL THE TIME!!! I don't know how to be any different. I'm just not made that way. Dean is constantly trying to get my to rest. Sometimes, my body makes me rest, even when I don't really want to. I am trying to retrain myself to slow down and enjoy things. To not be in a constant state of frustration and being overwhelmed, especially when it is typically my own doing!
I hope and pray that as I continue to ride....He will continue to speak!
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