Acts 6....it's sharing time

In the first half of Acts 6, it explains how there got to be too many duties for the disciples to handle.  Things were being missed, simply because there were not enough hands to complete things. People were being over looked, items missed, time got away. Let's look at verse 2 - 4, "So the 12 gathered all the disciples together and said "it would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, chose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

For many, many years I had unfortunately gotten very used to the idea of doing it all by myself. I got 3 girls ready for school everyday and picked them up every afternoon. I was the only breadwinner for the household, so I worried about and paid the bills all by myself.  I made dinner every night and did all the dishes.  I took complete care of our home...from vacuuming and cleaning the toilets, to cleaning off the roof and mowing the yard. I did laundry every day, more than you can even imagine. I got us all up every Sunday for church, we hardly ever missed a week.  I wiped noses, put bandaids on boo-boos, and  handled it all on my own. 

When Dean and I got married, I really didn't know how to let him in. I had my ways, and my routine, and my to do lists.....and honestly I didn't know how to stop.  But things were falling through the cracks, missed homework assignments, the car inspection was past due,  a missed dentist appointment....it was  all starting to build up on me.

I had to come to a point where I trusted someone enough to help me. I couldn't be so stuck in my ways that I was missing out on the most important things.  I had to let go.....to trust Dean enough to help me get things done. To trust God enough, because He was the one that gave me Dean as a helpmate. I had to let him into my life, every detail before it began to fall apart.

I was used to being the giver in all my past relationships. So to relax enough to be a taker occasionally was rough. Especially through this back pain/surgery, to be able to let go completely and let him handle everything while I just sit here was beyond hard for me. It tore me up inside, I cried about it more times than I can count. But in the end, I had to trust God and Dean, to know that I couldn't do it all. That I had to focus on what was most important at the time...and right now that is healing.  I have to let him be a part of my lists, and my routines, and my life now and always.