More and more and more

I have been trying to write this for a couple of days, but I can't seem to put on paper exactly everything that has been going on lately. Words just can't even begin to describe it. So every time  I start trying to write this, I end up stopping and deleting everything that I have already written. So this is attempt #3 I think. I really like to be open with my experiences hoping that it will reach someone, and be helpful in some way. The reason I haven't been able to write this yet was twofold. First, I was worried what some people might think, and secondly I felt like this was different, special, between just me and God. But here's what changed my mind...their is power in the words of our testimony. If God can do this for me, He can does this for anyone. I am hoping that if you read about a real experience that someone you know had with God, then it will mean more and you will seek Him more yourself.
Friday night we were having a special couple there for our regular praise and prayer time. Dean and I had gone last week, and I had an amazing prayer experience, so I wanted to go again to see what happened. It's funny to me, both Friday nights my plan (LOL! I can't even say my plan without cracking up now!), anyways my plan was to just sit back and watch, to see what happened, and then decide how I felt about it. Well, let's just say God had different plans for me again.

We arrived at church about 645pm, I barely had time to get home from work, change my shoes, and we were turning around and heading to church. I was tired to say the least, but I wanted to be there. The spirit was so thick in the sanctuary the minute we walked in. You could literally feel it in the air. We sang a couple of songs, and then the guest speakers talked a few minutes before they started praying and ministering to people. The "concept" for the evening was healing. So I had already decided I didn't really have anything that I needed healing for, so I was still on board with my plan to just hang out and watch. That didn't last for long though. And I am so glad it didn't!

Pastor and I had talked a couple of times that I wanted to be at a point where I could let go off control and just let God overtake me. I wanted to be available to His spirit. So, he walked over to where Dean and I were sitting and leaned down to me to say that I needed to be sure to go up for prayer at some point. But then Pastor laid hands on me and prayed for God to just give me more of Him, to fill me up.  Before I could even think about it, I began to laugh, harder that I had ever laughed before, and I just couldn't stop. No matter how hard I tried to get back in control, God was not allowing it in any way, shape, or form.  I was literally laying on the floor belly laughing. All I could hear was Pastor continuing to say more Lord, more.  I wanted to stop and try to be respectful, but God had different plans. People needed to hear the joy of the Lord overtaking me. But I needed it too, even more than I realized.

For so long church was a place where I was constantly in tears. Between the years with Abigail's heart issues, or dealing with my abusive ex-husband, or the times of being along...I could hardly be at church without flashes of me being on my face somewhere as a blubbering mess. I didn't know church as anything else for many years. God had to put my on face again...but this time to be filled with His joy. It was the most incredible feeling that I have ever had.  This is the part where words just can't explain. The happiness that filled me from the inside out was incredible, uncontrollable. No matter what I thought in my mind, I couldn't stop the feeling. As the night went on, all Pastor had to do was look at me and say more...and the laughter would start again. For hours, I was just overwhelmed with it. In fact, the next day I saw that I had busted blood vessels around my eyes from laughing so hard and so much.

I did finally go to one of the guests for prayer and talked to her about my control issues. Her words really struck home for me. She said that control is a spirit, but it is a spirit that I can rebuke,  lay it down, and leave it under the feet of Jesus and myself. I have to make a conscience choice to put it down and NOT pick it back up. That is what I want so badly. I want Him to have control of me. I want Him to lead me and me not try to rationalize it away.  I ended up being completely overcome by His spirit after prayer with her, and just having to stop and lay down and soak it all in. I was laughing again, and truly just enjoying the happiness He was filling me with. I wanted to stay in that moment forever, and just let Him fill my heart with that incredible JOY!

We went home and I was just in a fog of His presence. He was still just all over my heart, mind, and soul.  I had never felt so at peace in my life. I slept like a baby, no crazy dreams, no nightmares. I woke up Saturday morning still feeling Him so close. I wasn't tired, but I was in another world, I was just completely relaxed and in still in His presence. It was incredible!

Another part of the amazement was the feeling of the fire of the Holy Ghost in that place. The very minute I started laughing, my head was so hot. I remember babbling to Dean once that I felt like a candle and my head was the flame.  I was completely on fire with the Lord. It was so strong on me, again I can't even explain it. I keep hearing myself say "that's not me" or "that's not in my comfort zone"...and yet I still keep doing things.  For example, I have had things said to me before about being involved in healing ministry.  For a while I felt like I was going to be part of a spiritual healing ministry at some point, either through my testimony or my writing, but I would have never thought about physical healing being part of my calling. But things changed on Friday night in my mind. We were sitting there in that service, and the Holy Spirit was so thick in the air...all of a sudden I felt God telling me to put my hand on Dean's shoulder and start praying. (Dean had been having some muscle pain in his shoulder for quite a few days) I placed my hand on his shoulder and started praying under my breath. The one thing I remember saying over and over was "I believe you can, and I believe you will". Every time I tried to take my hand off his shoulder, and I thought I was done...God said not yet. I physically could not take my hand off of him. After a while, I felt it was time to stop. As soon as I lifted my hand, Dean said "your hand was on fire". I knew then what God was doing. Needless to say he hasn't said anything else about his back hurting. We got home, trying to get ready for bed, and Dean was saying that he hoped he could relax his mind and just think. God said to me, "do it again". I placed my hands on his head and started to pray again, asking God to clear his mind, and give him Holy rest like he had never experienced before. And again I said, I believe you can and I believe you will. Dean said he could feel a tingling going from my hands to his forehead. He said he thought I was wiggling my fingers on his head.  The next morning Dean said he slept so hard for a while that he felt like he lost time.

All of this babbling from my heart to say that God is up to something in me. I may not understand it all yet, but I declare that I am a willing vessel. Fill me up Lord. Bring Your Holy Fire. Continue to bring the Joy. Work in me. Use me. Teach me to do Your work. Clear my mind, so that all I can hear is Your Voice. Take control God. Keep me in the fog of Your Presence.

All of Him, and All of Me

I know it's been a while since I have blogged, but today I really felt lead to share of all that's been going on with me. I have had an amazing few days in the presence of the Lord, so much of Him that I can't even believe it. I wanted to take some time today to write it all down for me, but also to share it with you. There is strength in all of us sharing what He does in us, through us, and for us. 

I have been wanting more of Him for a while now.  But at the same time, I am sort of afraid to ask Him for it. Not sure what He would do, or how He would show up, or how He would shake me up. If you know me at all, you know I am sort of a like to be in control of things. LOL! Things have to be "just so" for me to handle it. I honestly want God to overtake me, but my flesh in the past hasn't been able to let go enough to allow it. I'm even having a hard time writing this now without feeling sick to my stomach. I don't like feeling out of control. I mean for crying out loud, I don't even like my food to touch other food on my plate, that's a control freak people!!! But I want more of Him.

So let me just say my God is so amazingly gracious. He knows me so well, and loves me so much, that He knows can't just drop all of Himself on me at once. But this week He did give me 5 rock solid words through an incredibly powerful prayer time Friday night at Rapha House. I want to dig into each of them a little deeper, so I can hold on tight to them. 

Peace...He continues to remind me that I can rest in His peace. That I can have peace in my thoughts.  My mind moves so fast all the time and in so many directions that I can't handle it some days, most days in fact.  He is trying to show me how to slow down and be at peace in Him. Psalm 29:11 says "The Lord gives strength to his people, the Lord blesses his people with peace." The is definitely an ongoing process for me, a transformation of my mind and how it works.  He wants to show me that I can be strong while still at peace. I just have to slow down and allow Him to take control.

Safe...this word He surprised me with, it was something that I didn't realize I was still hurting from. He spoke to me very clearly by saying through a sweet, gentle hearted lady that I was safe with Him. I didn't think I needed to be reminded of this, but it touched my heart so when she said it.  My history with the men in my life has not been so great to say the least, from my absent biological dad to my abusive ex husband, let's just say I have trouble trusting men. I didn't think I could trust anyone again. In fact until Dean came into my life, I don't think I ever felt complete trust for another human being. But God whispered to me to remember I am always safe with Him.  I worry many days about retaliation from my ex-husband one day....but God gently reminds me that I will always be safe in His arms. Psalm 16:1 says "Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge." That's it, I want to take refuge in Him.

Restoration...this is a good one, that He freely offers every day, why do I continue to forget it? Another word spoken over me this weekend was that all the years that were taken from me will be restored. Psalm 80:7 says "Restore us, God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved." Restore and beyond...He wants to give me more than was taken away by the enemy. And so far, He has proven this over and over. I am beyond blessed by the Godly marriage I have with Dean. God has already restored dreams for my life that I thought were dead and gone and He continues that work in my life every day.

Acceptance...this is another one of those words that I didn't know that I needed, but it broke my heart and put it back together in a new loving way in just a moment. The women at Rapha House accept me for who am I, no matter what that includes. For the first time, I feel like I am loved as a peer, not looked down on as a just another person in the church. It warms my heart more than I could ever say. Every woman wants to feel loved and accepted, and women are usually the hardest judge on each other.  So to feel I was welcomed within the woman of Rapha House is so important for me and my growth in His presence.  There are some amazingly strong Godly women in this church, woman who walk in His presence every day, and I can't wait to learn more from each of them.

Catch...this one make take a little more explaining but I love it with all my heart!! God wants to encourage my desire and my heart to help our children CATCH the fever that I have for praise and worship. That spirit, that anointing, that love is contagious and I definitely want the children at Rapha House to catch it! I don't want them to just learn a song, or a dance, or words...I want them to learn to be worshippers at heart at an early age.

So, the words that I will cling to as I go back to the world after an amazing few days with the Lord are PEACE, SAFE, RESTORATION, ACCEPTANCE, AND CATCH. I keep writing them everywhere I go....on the shower doors in the steam, on every little notebook I have, on a piece of paper posted to my computer at work, and on my heart.  Thank you Lord for speaking to me and graciously loving me. 

Acts 25 & 26....Hope and belief

I am headed back to work tomorrow, but I wanted to be sure that I finished out my study in Acts. So I decided tonight to read 2 chapters.  The story at this point is about Paul going before mutiple courts for the charges brought against him by a group of Jews. As he is presenting his case, there are 2 phrases that I really want to cling to today.

The first is in Acts 6:6....
"And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our ancestors that I am on trail today."

My hope in what God has promised...wow! Doesn't that sound wonderful? Hope is defined as looking forward to with desire and confidence. Confidence...I love that word. I want to have confidence in what God has told me every day.  Some days my doubting flesh gets in the way. I want to beleive, I want to listen, I want to walk in it.

The second verse was Acts 6:8....
"Why should any of you considerit incredible that God raises the dead?"

God can do everything, any way He wants to, beyond our expectations, above what we can ever imagine. Then why do we question Him so often? Why do we stand in disbelief? Why don't we know without a doubt that He can still perform miracles today? He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

He who was, and is, and is to come!!!

Acts 24...Share your faith

"Several days later Felix cam with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish. He sent for Paul and listened to him as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus. As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, "That's enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you." Acts 24:24-25

To me this is short, simple, and to the point....there will always be an opportunity for you to share your faith. Someone is always watching and listening to you, whether you know it or not. We cannot be afraid to stand up and stand out. We have to be brave enough to tell people about our journey with Him, our Savior. Because in the end, they may be scared, and they may even tell you to stop....but they want more. Don't we all??

As this story progresses, Felix calls for Paul many times after this encounter. Understand this though...Felix also had horrible motives at the same time, he was silently hoping that Paul would offer him a bribe to free him from prison. But he still listened every time as Paul spoke. FOR 2 YEARS this went on. 2 YEARS!!!!! He wanted to know what it was that made Paul different, what made him love the way he loved, and live the way he lived, and talk the way he talked.

Lord, please....if there is someone that You have placed in my path for me to speak to, help me to always recognize it. I want to help people, heal their hearts, show them there is a better way., by knowing You. I want to always be open to Your Spirit. Amen.

Acts 23...Stand up!!

"Paul looked straight at the Sanhedrin and said, "My brothers, I have fullfilled my duty to God in all good conscience to this day." Acts 23:1

I couldn't even get past the first verse today. LOL! That struck me. He could stand before his accusers and honestly say I have done everything that God has asked me to do up to today. Can I? Can I say that I have always listened to Him, and done what He said for me to do?

The simple answer is no, I have in my past been young, dumb, and hardheaded.  I think we can all probably say that about some time in our life, right? I was too stupid to listen as He said, "Hey Libby, not that way, follow the path I showed you before." But I want to stand up and say today, that I will follow Him anywhere. He has shown me so much favor over the last year, how can I not follow Him? I want to show Him that I am overwhelmed with His love, and wanting to show my gratitude by doing everything He asks of me.

And here in verse 11 is why....
"The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, "Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome."

For me, this verse reminds me that if I am willing to stand up for Him....He will stand up for me always.

Lord, I want to follow after Your heart everyday of my life. I want to do what you would have me to do always. Lead, guide, and direct me please. I want to stand up for You, because I know that You will always stand up for me. Amen.

Acts 22....KAPOW!!!

"About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice...the brillance of the light had blinded me." 
Acts 22:6, 7a, 11b

How big of a light would it finally take for me to hear what God has to say to me? Would I have to be completely blind to be able to stop and really listen? How heavy does the rock have to be that hits me in the head?

I don't want to be so dense that I miss out of on the things that He has for me.

Lord, I love you. Today continue to reveal your face to me. I want to walk in the path that you have set before. I want to do what you would have me to do. Thank you for smiling on me. Amen.

Acts 21...All together now

"When it was time to leave, we left and continued on our way. All of them, including wives and children, accompanied us out of the city, and there on the beach we knelt to pray." 
Acts 21:5

This verse brought a single word to my mind, a very important word, a very strong word....TOGETHER....

Together, our church family can pray to see the love of God manifested.

Together, my husband and I can work and make this family better.

Together, our family can pray to see things done in our lives.

Together, me and Abigail can take communion, and I almost cry trying to explain to her what the little cup and wafer means to us.

Together, Dean and I can deal with our finances.

Together, time that Tyler and I can spend walking to get my strength back.

Together, our church can worship to feel God's presence on a Sunday morning.

Together, a loving couple can lay in bed talking about how good God has been and is being to us.

Together, a blended family can love each other.

Together, we can make a difference.

Together, we can show the world God's love.

Acts 20....reaching out

Today as I was reading quite a few verses really jumped off the page to me.  And at first, I couldn't see how, the what seemed like random verses, went together....but I think I see what He is trying to tell me through his words today. Some of my verses quoted may seem out of nowhere, but I will pull it all together eventually.

"When the uproar had ended, Paul sent for he disciples and, after encouraging them, said goodbye and set out of Macedonia....On the first of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight....my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." 
Acts 20:1, 7, 24b

I have finally begun to grasp the idea that God has made me as an encourager on purpose. That is who I am 100%...whether it's to my family, friends, coworkers, whoever....I am just built that way.  Those verses above talk all about it too. Being an encourager, talking and sharing your feelings and testimony....that's is exactly what God put me on this earth to do.  He created me to not be afraid to be open and honest, even if it's about not nice things that happen throughout my life.  He has taught me over the years to be totally transparent.  But he has given me an old fashioned soul at the same time....not one that keeps me from talking about subjects that would be considered taboo, but to know there is a time and place, as well as a way to say everything.  Somethings can be said straight out, upfront, and blunt.  Other times you have to be gentle, quiet, patient, and discreet. (Those are things I am still learning, LOL!!)  He also created me to be outgoing and friendly, I can stinkin' talk to anyone! Always have been that way, always will be. God knew exactly what He was doing when he put me together.

"Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers....Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance...in everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  Acts 20: 28, 32, 35

Now I know, usually these verses would apply to pastors....but I feel like there are people I am charged with reaching out to, women He put in my path, people God has told me to speak to, to have a part in their healing or their walk. I am not trying to speak too highly of myself, but I want to give back at least a small portion of what He   has given to me.  I want to be "more blessed" by giving myself over to Him to do as He wants me to.

Lord, today help me to be more of the type of encourager that You want me to be.  Continue to build up those qualities in me, and stoke the fire in me to help others by showing them the same grace You have shown me throughout the years. I love You...help me to love them. Amen.

Acts 19...the Way

As I was reading today in Acts 19, a word jumped out at me because it was capitalized, and at first I thought maybe it was a typo but it was done twice in the chapter...hmmmmm. So I started re-reading the passage with this word in it to see what He was trying to say to me.
Take a look with me.....

"There he (Paul) found some disciples and asked them, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?"  They answered, "No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit." So Paul asked, "Then what baptism did you receive?" "John's baptism," they replied. Paul said, "John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, this is, in Jesus." On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied. There were about 12 men in all. Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God. But some of them became obstinate; they refused to believe and publicly maligned the Way."  Acts 19:1b-8

the Way is mentioned again in verse 23, "about that time there arose a great disturbance about the Way."

So this got me thinking about what is the Way?? And for me, I decided it means for me to be walking in the fullness that God offers me. Taking the authority given to me to live in all the fruits of the spirit, such as peace, joy, love, gentleness, and faithfulness....but to also walk in the giftings from the Holy Spirit as well. The giftings that were bestowed specifically on me, Libby, to go out into the world with. I feel a hard pressing on my life lately to share my heart, that call that there is someone out there for me to help with my testimony.  But what if it's not just one person? What if it's hundreds or thousands even?  I'm not saying that in any way to boast in myself or my abilities....but what if God has bigger plans for me? Could I really? Am I ready for that?

Today is really a "what if" sort of day for me.  As I look at all the blessings He has given me, how can I not think about how I can share that joy, that overwhelming excitement, that "my cup runneth over" sort of feeling with others? I told Tyler the other day that I do believe if I told a mountain to move it would...but do I really? Is my mustard seed of faith enough?

Here's the realization that I had....it's not about me and my abilities and my ways....it's all about HIM, HIS abilities, HIS strengths, HIS callings, HIS kingdom, HIS decisions, HIS ways....the WAY!  If He decided I can touch hundreds or thousands, then I can. But, it's all come down to this, do I choose to accept and walk in the Way?

Lord....I am shaking like a leaf just at the thought of this, but I want to live the Way. I want to do what you would have me to do. Whether it's to reach one heart or thousands. Continue to reveal yourself to me, through Your words, the encouraging words of my husband, and the prophetic words of a ministry team. I am really trying, help me to be more quiet and to just listen. In Your Name, Amen.

Acts 18...Don't stop

I read chapter 18 a couple of times, then a verse hit my like "DUH??!?!" I don't know how I missed it the first time.
Look at verse 9-10 with me (again!), "One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision, "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, don't be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.""

Every now and then, He leads me to look at the verse in another version, and today I am SOOOOO glad I did.  Here is the same passage from The Message....

"One night the Master spoke to Paul in a dream: "Keep it up, and don't let anyone intimidate or silence you. No matter what happens, I'm with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you. You have no idea how many people I have on my side in this city." 

WOWZERS!!! This spoke to me so strongly!! There is so much power and strength in these 2 verses for me....I am going to break it apart piece by piece, but I'll try to be brief (because I could go on all day!!)

1. The Master....think about that for a minute...dictionary.com defines master as a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something.  That makes me think of that old Bill Cosby line, where he says I brought you into this life, I can take you out. LOL! But seriously, to me that means God will use me to do His work every day I am willing to listen....but if there is a day that I say "I just don't feel like it today Lord", He may decide to use someone else.  His work will be done, and if I say no, someone else will say yes. Am I ready to allow Him to be Master in my life??

2. "don't let anyone intimidate or silence you".... I have always felt like my story, what happened in my life was for a very specific reason.  There is someone I am supposed to reach with my story, a heart it will touch and change forever. I have told my story hundreds of times now, even to specific women God put in my path to talk to... but I still feel like I haven't reached "the one" I was supposed to yet. So I will never let someone say, ok Libby that's enough talking about domestic violence. Or ok, we get it, you were hurt. Or we get it, God turned your life around and brought new blessings into your path. I will not stop saying it until every women has heard a voice in the darkness sayings it's ok to stand up against that, it's ok to be knocked down but now you let God help you stand back up and start anew.  I refuse to believe I went through that nightmare for nothing, God is and will continue to use that for His Glory.

3. "I'm with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you"....for a loooonnnngggg time, I didn't believe that statement. I really didn't. But why?? I know who God was, I knew what He was capable of, I knew of His love, and I believed He was bigger than anything I could imagine....but I didn't believe He WOULD protect me. Did you catch that? It's not that I didn't believe He COULD....I didn't believe He WOULD.  Why would He get in my little mess?  There are a lot bigger things for Him to worry about in the world than me.  But this is just another case of me putting Him in a human box.  As a human, I can only handle so much at one time, some things take precedence, there are priorities.  For example, if I am trying to get ready for work, and Abigail comes knocking on my door for the millionth time just in that morning, I say "is anyone dying or bleeding....then I will be there in a minute". As an OCD type, I have lists, things are in order of importance. But God is not human. Let me say that again...GOD IS NOT HUMAN!!! He doesn't think that way! Everyone that He created is just as important as the next....preacher, singer, musician, drug addict, prisoner, president, mommy, 7 year old, lawyer, or homeless....we are ALL precious in His eyes.  We are His children, and everything that grieves our heart grieves His. So He is ALWAYS with me, and ALWAYS protecting me.

4. "You have no idea how many people I have on my side in this city"...I love this part!! I love the "you have no idea".  I really don't. Sometimes as believers we feel like we are the minority out in the world, at work, or at school, or in our neighborhoods, or even in our own family.  But really...we have no idea!! If we would all just rise up and BE THE CHURCH....TOGETHER!!!! Think of what an impact we could make in our homes, workplaces, cities, the world!  So just think about it for a minute....there is a church on almost every corner of downtown that I can think of, so let's say there are 10 churches.  And even if they only each had 100 members....all of a sudden your voice of 1 has become 1000....but only if we all stand up and speak as one voice!! And fight for change in our world.  We spend so much time tearing each other down IN the church, how can we ever expect to make a change AS the church??


Oh precious Protector...thank you today for my story and my voice, and the calling to reach out to others with both. Continue to burden my heart with "the one" I am to find and tell of the wonders of my loving Jesus. In Your Matchless Name, Amen.

Acts 17...be happy

In Acts 17, Paul is in Thessalonica teaching and preaching, explaining the gospel, telling the story of the Messiah. It says in verse 4, a large number were persuaded.  But here's the verse that upset me, verse 5...."But other Jews were jealous; so they rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, and started a riot in the city." 

What in the world is that about?? Why when someone else gets something, do we always head straight for jealousy? Especially in the church??? And it only gets worse....

Later in the chapter, people decide that Paul should leave and go to Berea to avoid all of the chaos. But look at verse 13, "but when the Jews in Thessalonica learned that Paul was preaching the word of God in Berea, some of them went there too, agitating the crowds and stirring them up."

Are you kidding me?? Oh, I so don't want to be that way.  Let me be happy for other people's blessings! I want to be able to see someone get that healing they have been praying for and rejoice in it with them.  I want to see a friend finally get pregnant, and shout for joy with them. I want to see another believer hear the calling on their life, and honestly wish them the best. Why is that so hard?

Same thing on a church level....I never want to feel upset because another church is seeing the movement of God. I never want to be jealous of the building, or instruments, or of anything that another church may have.  That's not what we are called to do as believers.  We are supposed to rejoice WITH each other, and FOR each other no matter what is going on with us.

Lord, help me to always see the joy in other people's blessing and not only my own.  I want to see YOUR goodness everywhere I look. I want to SHOUT for joy at all Your glory on this earth. Amen!!

Acts 16....I'm all shook up!

This is a story I had heard before, probably many times, but I am not sure I ever read it for myself. It's the story of Paul and Silas being thrown in prison, and praising their guts out until the walls shook!!!!

I really try to find the one thing that speaks the loudest to me when I read, but today I just couldn't narrow it down to one! Each are little parts in the story, but they struck a big chord in my heart.

The first is in verse 25, "after midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening." Most of the time when I heard this story, everyone focuses on how no matter what the circumstances were, they praised God.  I think that is absolutely a huge part of this story, but I got caught by the second half of that verse today.  The others were listening....people are always listening. So what is coming out of me for them to hear?  Is it positive....encouraging....uplifting...loving...from Christ?? Or is it negative...hateful....mean....discouraging....from the world??  People are always going to be listening, everyone wants to hear what you or I have going on in our lives.  Are we saying things that will make them want to find out more about Him?  Not only were Paul and Silas singing and praising no matter what their circumstances were....but the other prisoners stayed and listened no matter what their circumstances were. People want more out of life. Don't they? Don't we?  Then let's give them something worth listening to! Not complaining about work, or home, or kids, or traffic or whatever....on facebook, on the phone, in person, or even in church. We are charged with being the representation of light in a dark world.....are you living up to that call? Am I? I definitely want to....and I know it's  hard sometimes....but I have to remember, someone is always listening.

The 2nd thing that caught my heart today was something I have seen repeated many times throughout my reading in Acts. Every time they visit someone, it is said "he and his whole household were saved". That really struck me today. For years I prayed and prayed for a husband who would lead my family spiritually. I fasted, I prayed, I got on my knees, I read, I journaled, I wept....I did everything I could think of to raise him up. And I always felt the Lord telling me that one day John (my ex husband now) would be that, would be in church with me and the girls. When everything fell apart after John hit me....I was so angry with God. I could not understand why He would let that happen to me, or why He lied to me about him being in church with us.  I was so crushed.  But then, when I finally started talking to(and listening to) God again, when the anger subsided, and I was able to ask why... I cried out to Him and said, but you promised. God answered, as loud as I have ever heard Him, He said....I said your husband would be in church with you one day, not John Sims.  And now, I understand.  I thank God every day for bringing Dean into my life, and the life of my girls.  Dean always picks on me because in an older blog I had done, there is one I wrote asking God why can't I find a man who loves God, and would just love me and my girls.  And now that is exactly what I have. An amazing man who follows God's voice, and then leads this family to chase after Him. I could not have wished for a better husband. Dean is my gift from God. He is "my him", the "him" I prayed for,  I cried for, I longed for.  And I know many of you are saying, oh they are just newlyweds.....it's not so, it will always be this way. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt that God put this family together for a reason, and I will always be beyond thankful for that.  I love that Dean leads us, not by his own feelings and thoughts, but from the guidance and direction straight from God. Thank you God and thank you my him.

And the third thing that touched my heart was in the last part of the chapter in verse 40, "...they met with the brothers and sisters and encouraged them." This sort of links back to the first part too, but different at the same time. We can't always just be concerned about those who do not know God, those who are lost.  Please don't misunderstand me at all, I know that is our mission on earth to reach out to those who don't know the love of Jesus.  but sometimes, every now and then, those of us who KNOW Him, need a little reminder too.  As much as we are sent to reach out to the lost....there are some who are "found" who are hurting and need the loving encouragement that can only come from a brother or sister in Christ.  In this day and time, it is very easy to get down and out...and we have to be there to lift each other up, to love on each other, to gently nudge and say just remember He loves you.

God, today I pray so wholeheartedly that I can be a light in a dark world, a proverbs 31 wife, and an encourager to my brothers and sisters....always. Amen.

Acts 15...thoughts on one word

I have had one word sort of stuck in my head for a few days, and then it happened to be mentioned in Acts 15 today too. So it seemed like a perfect opportunity to write about it, because I think it's a word we forget too often. At least I know that I do.

"We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved." Act 15:11

Dictionary.com defines grace in many ways....
elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action
a pleasing or attractive quality
favor or goodwill
a manifestation of favor
mercy, clemency, pardon
favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity
the condition of being in God's favor
moral strength

All of those definitions are true of God aren't they? But look how different all of those definitions are. Amazing right??  Grace is huge and it covers so many things. I decided I wanted to find some more examples in the bible today.  I needed an injection of  grace today!

Psalm 84:11
"For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right."

Isaiah 60:10b
"I will now have mercy on you through my grace."

Zechariah 12:10a
"Then I will pour out a spirit of grace and prayer on the family of David and on the people of Jerusalem."

Acts 6:8
"Stephen, a man full of God's grace and power, performed amazing miracles and signs among the people."

Acts 13:43
"...and the two men urged them to continue to rely on the grace of God..."

Acts 20:32
"And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all those he has set apart for himself."

Romans 5:20-21
"God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful grace became more abundant. So just as sin ruled over all the people and brought them to death, now God's wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Romans 6:14b
"Instead, you live under the freedom of God's grace."

Romans 12:6
"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well."

1 Corinthians 1:3a
"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace."

1 Corinthians 15:10
"But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me....yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace."

There are tons more of course, but that last one really struck me....He choose to pour his special favor on me. Little ol' me. Nothing special, just me. AND as if that's not enough, He is working through me by his grace.  How incredible is that?!?!!?

Lord, help me to remember your grace.  Help me to walk in your grace. Help me to feel your grace. Help me to show your grace. Help me to deserve your grace, even though that is never possible.  I am in total awe of You and your grace today. Help me to stay that way. Amen.

Acts 14....Signs and wonders

First I want to say that I believe anything that happened to or was promised to people in the bible, can happen today. That why I love this verse in Acts 14!!! Look at this....

"So Paul and Barnabas spent considerable time there, speaking boldly for the Lord, who confirmed the message of his grace by enabling them to perform signs and wonders." 
Acts 14:3

How awesome is that??? Why don't we believe for that? Why is that so hard for us to grasp? Paul or Barnabas are no different than you or I. They were just regular guys. There is no reason we can't do the same signs and wonders NOW! If our hearts and minds are lined up with Him and His will...anything  is possible!!

But there is a verse that I think is even more of the key to seeing signs and wonders in 2013. Look at verse 27, "They gathered the church together and reported all that God had done through them and how He had opened a door of faith for the Gentiles."

As the church, we have to share the things that He does for us and through us.  Because think about that for a second, let's say I laid hands on someone and they were healed.  That would be amazing, but hard for me to believe.  But if I went to church, and heard of 10 different people who had the same experience....wouldn't it be easier to grasp that it was possible?? Plus we are called to be inspirations to each other, to push each other to want to see more from Him each day. And the only way we can do that is to share and tell of His wondrous works!

Oh yeah as a bonus woohoo....look back at verse 3...the message of grace.....doesn't that warm your heart? It sure does mine today!!!

Acts 13...giftings and callings

"While they were worshipping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." Acts 13:2

My bible that I typically read from is a NIV version. But today before I started I thought I would check out this verse in a couple of other versions. Verse 2 was pretty much the same, but I reallllllllyyyyyyy liked verse 3 in The Message. Check this out....
"In that circle of intensity and praying, they laid hands on their heads and sent them off."

There is soooooo much good juicy info right here in 2 little verses I can't believe it. And it may seem super complicated, but its not. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3.

1. While they were worshipping.....sounds simple enough. If you want to know what God wants for you and your life, try worship first.  But there's an added bit to this that is easy to breeze over......does it say while I was worshipping? No, not at all. It says while THEY were worshipping. I am not discounting the importance of private worship time, but there is something very powerful in corporate prayer. Things happen when we will all get together and lift our voices and hearts in song to Him.  If you know me at all, you know this something that is very near and dear to my heart.  I love worship. That is where my passion is, where my  heart is, music is my love. So this point speaks to me big time!!!

2. Listen....the Holy Spirit TOLD them what they were called to do.  If you ask Him, He will answer.  He has already shown you through your life what your giftings are....and if you listen He will show you how those can be helpful in reaching people for the Kingdom.  Everyone has a specific job and a specific calling, because He made each of us specially with a unique purpose in mind.

3. This one comes from the second verse I quoted...the church laid hands on the them in agreement, and sent them on they way.  #3 sort of has an a and a b portion.....a.) there's that word intensity, just like yesterday with the church praying earnestly. The church stood up and got behind what the Holy Spirit had told them their calling was. The church wanted to foster their giftings, and watching what God does with them. That's where part b comes in.....they sent them on their way.  They didn't say...oh wait, you have gifts, we need you here, you can't leave, we helped you. They sent them out into the world, knowing that God would bring it back tenfold.
Ok, so there's also a part c on this one for me too, a bonus.....they laid hands on them. Ok, so first it's biblical, but it is also such an experience.  To have someone stand with you in agreement and love you enough to go to the Father in prayer with you, and for you. I mean the bible does say wherever 2 or 3 are gathered, right??!?!  This is not a hard concept to grasp.  Yes, I pray by myself, and with my husband, and with my family....but that's not enough. Believers need to pray together for each other, and lay hands on each other.  I'm telling you...there is power in the touch of a friend, and then you add in the spirit of the Lord...wowzers!!!

Lord, I am ready to give my talents and gifts to you completely. Use me, push me to get out of my comfort zone, stretch me beyond my limits. Make me a person who you say that is my child, and I am so proud.  Amen and Amen!!

Acts 12....Hmmmmmm

It's another 2fer sort of day!! 2 things make me go hmmm in Acts 12.

The first in in verse 5..."So Peter was kept in prison, but the  church was earnestly praying to God for him."

So I decided to look up earnestly in the dictionary.....and I LOVE what I found.....characterized by or from an intense and serious state of mind. UH HUH!!!! That is how I want my friends at church praying for me, a serious state of mind, they mean business. And they don't plan on stopping until they get something done!  Can you imagine what it would be like if we prayed for people earnestly?? I mean look at this story here in Acts 12. Peter gets thrown in jail, so his church starts to pray, intensely. What happens?? A angel from God goes to him at night, and gets him out of jail.  No violence, no get out of jail free card, no trial....just says stand up and the chains fall off, as they walk up to gates they just come open.  Think those prayers worked???

The second thing that makes me go hmmmm is in the last verse of the chapter, #24, "but the word of God continued to spread and flourish." LOVE LOVE LOVE this. At the end of the chapter, Herod is looking for Peter after he escaped. He asks all the guards, and of course kills them because they have no idea what happened. On an appointed day, Herod decided to give a public speech. After he spoke, someone in the crown shouted those were words of a god not a man.  And because Herod didn't stop and praise the one true God....he was struck right there by an angel of God, eaten by worms, and died.  But the last line is the best...."but the word of God continued to spread and flourish." God's story, the gospel, His love, will continue to cross this earth and be amazing no matter who or what gets in the way.

Time for another visit to the dictionary....flourish?? .... to grow luxuriantly, to achieve success, to be in a state of activity or production, to reach a height of development or influence.  Again uh-huh I say.  I want to see God's word flourish. But I don't want to just sit back and watch. And I definitely don't want to get in the way (or be eaten by worms, gross!!). I want to do my part, I want to help it continue to flourish. I want to be a vessel. I want to be a light in this world full of darkness.

Lord today I pray...get me out of your way, keep me from getting in my own way....help me to do my part in spreading your Word and making it flourish. AMEN!!!

Acts 11....Listening

"who was I to think that I could stand in God's way?"  Acts 11:17b

Today....that's enough said. Amen.

Acts 10.....CHURCH!

"The following day he arrived in Caesarea. Cornelius was expecting them and had called together his relatives and close friends. As Peter entered the house, Cornelius meet him and fell at his feet in reverence. But Peter made him get up. "stand up," he said, "I am only a man myself."  Acts 10:25-26

This chapter of Acts was about a man named Cornelius who was told by an angel of God to go get Peter and bring him to his home.  There are tons of things I could write about from this chapter, but there was one thing that just smacked me right upside the head.  I have heard it multiple times, but I think we forget it on a daily basis.  I'm gonna yell it so there is no confusion of what I want to say today....

THE CHUCH IS NOT A BRICK AND MORTAR PLACE....IT'S THE INSIDES, THE PEOPLE!!!!!

Peter preached to a group of people, who it was against the law for him to be talking to, in their home! And it says in verse 44, "while Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message." He met them where they were, told them a story that could change their lives, and then watched as the Holy Spirit took over. People were speaking in tongues, singing praises, and receiving the baptism of the Holy Ghost.  He didn't say, I can't go there, we have to go the church. He didn't say, yall are not saved, I can't help you.

Why do we lose this idea so often? If the "church" isn't of one mind....all on the same page....all working towards the same goals....understanding we are all here to do the Kingdom's work wherever and whenever it needs to happen...how can we ever expect to reach people who need Him so desperately that we can't even imagine it??

One more time I say....the church is not a buiding. 

Acts 9....wowzers!!!

First let me say that I hate I missed yesterday. I had a really rough night and morning, I woke up at like 230am and could not get comfortable enough to go back to sleep. Moved to the living room, to my recliner, turned on "Grease" (yeah, John Travolta at 3am is a good thing. LOL!) Thought maybe that would help.....nope! Pulled all the pillows off the couch and tried to get comfy there....nope! Even considered the floor, but was afraid I wouldn't have been able to get up. LOL!  By 630 when it was time for Dean to get up for work, I was in tears. I was so frustrated and tired. But I took the little 2 girls to school (they are in year round school), and then came home and went straight to bed. Did not pass go, did not collect $200. Just bed.  I barely moved until about 1130.  Anyways, not an excuse really, I was just beaten down and I let the devil use that to stop me. My husband politely called me out about it last night as we went to sleep. He said I had the same 24 hours just like everyone else. And he is totally right. I refuse to allow the devil stop me from doing this small form of ministry...for myself and anyone else out there who might get something out of it.  So enough pity party.....thank you Honey!

So, there are 2 things that jumped out at me today in Acts 9..... the first was in the second half of verse 31, "living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit". To me that is an amazing thought, that He can be so many things to us, all at the same time. He is exactly what you need at the exact moment you need it. Can you really grasp that? I mean, I can't for sure. It's like as a mom, me spanking one of the girls, but as soon as its over reaching down and hugging her and saying but I still love you so.  But on soooooo much bigger scale.  I heard someone say recently that His love for us is huge, but we really have no idea what HUGE is.  It's the same concept here....He truly is everything we need every minute of every day. He is my Savior, my Healer, my Joy, my Peace, my Father, my Love, my Comforter, my Strong Tower, my Strength....I could go on and on. But....I have another thought about this chapter.

Thought #2 (and #3 actually)....In the end of Acts 9, there is a story about a disciple named Tabitha. She had been preaching and teaching the good news, but then she got sick and died. Peter was called for, and urged to come at once. When he arrived, people were standing around just crying over her body. Peter sent them all away, got down on his knees and prayed, then asked her to get up. And of course she did. He called all the people back into the room to show them.  It then says it was told all over the land and lots of people became believers.

Here's what hit me in this...first of all, why do we have to wait for a huge miracle to believe? Why does it have to be signs and wonders? Isn't the fact that He created the world enough of a miracle? LOOK AROUND!!! The fact that He breathed stars, He spoke light....that's not big enough?  I mean, the human body is a huge miracle.  Going through this surgery recently, I really saw just how amazing a creation my body is. It is so intricately made, and works in such harmony.  How can that be without a God who dreamed it all up??!!??

Then the next thing....why can't we believe sign and wonders can happen now too? It's not just bible times stuff.  It can still be TODAY!!  They happen all the time....but you have to be willing to see it.  They are EVERYWHERE!!!! For me, the latest was all this stuff with my back. God orchestrated this miracle for me. It didn't happened all it once, but for me that doesn't make it any less of a miracle.  The biggest part of the miracle for me was Dean.  He came just at the right time, there is NO way (no matter how strong Dean tells you that I am) that I could have done this on my own.  I was a mess! There have been so many days that Dean has had to scrape me up off the floor and build me back up, as recent as last night.  He is my miracle, he is my sign and wonder! God knew, in advance, that I would need him right at this moment. And I thank Him for it everyday.

So today I challenge you...let Him be your EVERYTHING and slow down to SEE and RECEIVE your miracle!!

Acts 8....Baptism

There was a lot of references to baptism in today's chapter, so I decided I wanted to recall and write about my baptism.  I didn't really grow up in church, but I had an uncle who was a baptist preacher. He and my aunt made sure that every time I was with them I went to church.  They would usually plan for me to spend a week with them during the summer during their church's VBS. At was at one of their little baptist churches in Tennessee that I gave my heart to Jesus in 1992. I didn't get baptized at their church though. At the time I was in college at ASU and was attending a church there in Boone.  So I decided I wanted to be baptized there.  I always make a joke that the devil was after me from the beginning, because the week before my baptism I sprained my knee, he was trying to stop me before I even got started. LOL!

And the rest of the story is all history...God grabbed my heart and hasn't let go yet.  Everyday He shows me new mercy, and blesses me beyond measure.  I am so glad I meet him all those years ago.

Acts 7...What kind of house are you?

"Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me? Says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be?" Acts 7:49

That got me to thinking....what kind of dwelling place is my heart for God? Would he be pleased at what He saw? Would he be pleased with what He heard?
Am I good enough? Do I do enough? Do I tell people enough about His love?

Of course the answer to all of these questions is no.  And not for lack of trying, but I can always do more. And as I get closer and closer to being completely healed, I know that He has big plans for me, and I am so ready.

He has just the right spot, just the right ministry picked out for me....and just the right people for me to minister too.

A time is coming....a time that He already has planned out for me, a time that He knows I am almost ready for.  And all I can do is hold on tight!!!!

Acts 6....it's sharing time

In the first half of Acts 6, it explains how there got to be too many duties for the disciples to handle.  Things were being missed, simply because there were not enough hands to complete things. People were being over looked, items missed, time got away. Let's look at verse 2 - 4, "So the 12 gathered all the disciples together and said "it would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, chose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

For many, many years I had unfortunately gotten very used to the idea of doing it all by myself. I got 3 girls ready for school everyday and picked them up every afternoon. I was the only breadwinner for the household, so I worried about and paid the bills all by myself.  I made dinner every night and did all the dishes.  I took complete care of our home...from vacuuming and cleaning the toilets, to cleaning off the roof and mowing the yard. I did laundry every day, more than you can even imagine. I got us all up every Sunday for church, we hardly ever missed a week.  I wiped noses, put bandaids on boo-boos, and  handled it all on my own. 

When Dean and I got married, I really didn't know how to let him in. I had my ways, and my routine, and my to do lists.....and honestly I didn't know how to stop.  But things were falling through the cracks, missed homework assignments, the car inspection was past due,  a missed dentist appointment....it was  all starting to build up on me.

I had to come to a point where I trusted someone enough to help me. I couldn't be so stuck in my ways that I was missing out on the most important things.  I had to let go.....to trust Dean enough to help me get things done. To trust God enough, because He was the one that gave me Dean as a helpmate. I had to let him into my life, every detail before it began to fall apart.

I was used to being the giver in all my past relationships. So to relax enough to be a taker occasionally was rough. Especially through this back pain/surgery, to be able to let go completely and let him handle everything while I just sit here was beyond hard for me. It tore me up inside, I cried about it more times than I can count. But in the end, I had to trust God and Dean, to know that I couldn't do it all. That I had to focus on what was most important at the time...and right now that is healing.  I have to let him be a part of my lists, and my routines, and my life now and always.

Acts 5...Worthy of Suffering

I am pulling verses from the story in Acts 5 where Peter and the other apostles are being persecuted for teaching in the name of Jesus....

The apostles had been thrown in jail because they would not stop teaching in the temple courts then in verse 19 and 20 we read....
"During the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out. "Go, stand in the temple courts," he said, "and tell the people all about this new life."
The next morning the jail is found locked and guarded, but no one is inside. In fact, they are out in the temple courts speaking again. And here we pick up in verse 28 and 29....
"We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name," he said, "yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood." Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings."
Through much discussion, the council is persuaded to spare the apostles lives. Instead they were flogged and once again ordered never to speak in the name of Jesus again. But then comes me favorite line of this story in verse 41....
"The apostles left the Sandhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."

I have to admit I don't normally enjoy suffering, it does not make me rejoice, and it definitely does not make me feel worthy of anything. In fact, it usually makes me angry. I ask question like "why me?" or "why this?" or "why now?" I don't always understand why I have to be the one in pain. I don't understand why God would let me go through this.

But here is what I am reminded of again today....The devil is afraid of me. He knows he can never stop me....but he can slow me down. And that is what pain is....a distraction. A way to keep me from being able to focus on what I am supposed to be doing. MY pain is even keeping Dean from being able to focus on what he is supposed to be doing, what we are supposed to be doing as a family....simply because he is worried about me.

Well today I claim it...the devil is a lair, and a cheat, and a thief...and I will no longer allow him to get me down. I consider myself worthy of the suffering....because if he is so worried about keeping me down then that means that there is something BIG in store for this family in our God's name.  Dean continues to say he hears "you ain't seen nothing yet" from God about our family. And today I agree.  If we have the devil worried....then good!  He better start running, because once I am better and on my feet, he will be the first thing I put under my feet. Because he has no hold over me, and has no rights to me, and no weapon he forms against me shall prosper. I am a daughter of the RISEN KING...and nothing is going to stand in the way of my doing exactly what He has planned for me.

AMEN and AMEN!!!!

Acts 4....a 2fer

Today is a 2fer kind of day....meaning 2 little things jumped out at me today from Acts 4. Woohoo!!!

The first is in verse 31, "After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."  Can you imagine??? The room SHOOK!!! What would happen if we expected that to happen when we prayed? That we actually trusted in our prayers and things come truly happen from them. What amazing signs and wonders could we see in our lives if we only put more faith in our prayers???
And then on top of that, AFTER they prayed, and AFTER the room was shaken, they went out into the world and spoke BOLDLY of what God did for them. Again, what if???  What if we all spoke boldly of our God and all He has done for us.  I am not saying we have to walk around thumping our bible, or screaming out the gospels at the top of our lungs....but we CAN tell people our story.  It doesn't have to be all holier than thou, or a huge spiritual story....but just tell people what He has done in your life, how He has been there for you.... and then they will want to know more about our amazing Father.

The bonus bit I picked up in Acts 4 today was in verse 32, "All the believers were one heart and mind."  WOW...how great would that be??? I know not everyone in the world will not get along, there will never really be world peace....but in the least shouldn't all of us in church be able to get along? Stop poking at each other? Start sharing with each other? Stick up for each other? Stand in the gaps for each other? Help each other out, sometimes even when it's not necessarily needed or asked for? Always love on each other?

And that's how I see it today.
Love from Libby

Acts 3....Walk in it

"Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."  Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him."   Acts 3:6-10

I know that I know that I know God has healed and is healing me still everyday.  I know I complain sometimes, but I still know that my God had His hands all over this. Some people only think that it is a healing if it is a miraculous healing. That one day it just stops hurting. But I don't agree with that at all.  I believe God gives doctor's knowledge and skill for a reason. I believe I ended up with the right doctor in the end, because God knew. We changed doctor's right at the end of an 8 month journey with my back because God knew. Plus I have said along to Dean that I knew it would end up in surgery. God started preparing my heart very early in the process for the thought of surgery. If one day the doctor had said I needed surgery and I wasn't prepared for it, I would have went into total panic mood.  But God had been working for months to prepare my heart for it.  He knows me better than anyone else,  and He knew what I needed to make it through this time.

The biggest way that I know that God's hand was in this the whole time....he gave me Dean just in time.  I could have never done this on my own, no way.  Dean says I am a strong woman and could have. But I know in my heart that I couldn't have. I would have been a mess, crying all the time, falling to pieces.  God knew I needed a strong, loving, Godly man to help me through this, by my side every minute.  And I did need him, and I still do every day forever.  He was and is exactly what I had always prayed for in a husband. He is my him!! The one!! God gave me the man He made specifically for me.  No one in my life has ever treated me the way he does. He has been so patient, kind, and encouraging through this whole process.  I am a terrible patient, but Dean has held my hand through it all. And I just want to say how grateful I am for him.

But here's the key, after I have realized and know that this was all God....I have to walk in it.  Show everyone out there in the world that my God healed me.  They can say, I know her, isn't that the lady who's husband hit her a few years ago and she was all alone with 3 kids, and every time I saw her she was on her knees at the front of the church crying about something. And now, they can be filled with wonder and amazement as they can see the difference in my life as I walk it out, and tell everyone I can about how unbelievably good my God has been to me.

Acts 2...what I see

"With many others words he warned them; he pleaded with them, "Save yourself from this corrupt generation."  Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostle's teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and prayer.... Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."    Act 2:40-42, 46-47

This passage hit me right on the top of the head like a brick straight from God. Fellowship....that's what its all about.  You don't have to preach the gospel to everyone you meet to get them to go to church. You have to be their friend, show them the love of Jesus through you, be their friend.  And mean it, no patty cake bullcrap because you have to. Do it because you want to.

I can see in the passage above, they broke bread together, in their homes, and with sincere and happy hearts. They enjoyed being together and talking about what God had done for them. And the numbers were multiplied!!!! It's not a hard equation to figure out.

Last night was a perfect example, a few good friends of ours came over to see us. Not to say oh, poor pitiful Libby....but to really just spend time with us and love on us. And honestly, it was exactly what we needed. All of us needed it! Not just me. Dean needed a moment to relax and not have to be running around doing something. I needed to talk about something other than when it was time to take the next medicine or how much it was hurting.  The kids needed someone to hug and love on them and tell they are being good helpers.

The breaking of bread and being together with sincere and loving hearts.
THAT is a HUGE part of what church means to me.

doing it again

I decided since I would be home for a while, I would start blogging again as I read through a certain book of the bible.  I used to really enjoy this before, and since I will have some time on my hands and a new perspective....this was a great way to spend some of my time. I wanted to pick a book of the bible that I hadn't read in a while, and in the end choose Acts.

Today there was a verse that just jumped off the page at me....Act 1:14 "They all joined together constantly in prayer".

This spoke to me because of all the things I have been going through over the last few weeks with my back surgery. So many amazing times of prayer have happened since then. Amazing feeling and hearing the love of God through other people.

The first was when Dean and the kids laid hands on me, and prayed.  For YEARS I prayed for my husband to just try church with me....now I have a fabulous christian husband he is completely the spiritual head of this household. I cried and cried.

The next was at work, the day before my last day there. I ended up with a church pastor in my office to talk about a mortgage.  8 bankers in my branch, and he ended up in my office. I don't believe that God does coincidences. Anyways, after we talked for a while he noticed I was in pain. And he just started praying.  It was amazing. It made me laugh because he didn't even ask. He said he had given up asking if he was confident it was needed, and he was being told by God to do it. It was exactly what I needed.

The next that sticks out was with my husband right before the surgery. One thing he said that truly touched my heart was that he wanted me to know that when they rolled me away for surgery, and he could no longer hold my hand, Jesus would be there still to hold it. I reminded myself of that many times before they started.

And the most recent was when a dear friend just stopped in to see how I was. I was so down that day. I was crying, and worried it would never get better.
Then there she was...again no coincidences in God's world. Exactly what I needed. She laid her hands on me and sweetly prayed for me for healing, and a lift in spirits, and guidance and clarity from direction.  It was perfect!!

To me, there is nothing better than someone taking the time to just sit and pray to Our Father for me, with me.

More tomorrow hopefully.......
Love, Libby

God gave me a chance.

Today was an awful day at work.....but there was one bright spot.  A lady came into my office to reorder checks, and somehow I ended up being able to reach out to her and encourage her about a mentally and verbally abusive relationship she was in. It was awesome!!!!
On my way home from work, I was trying to recall the whole conversation so I could tell Dean about it, and I could not for the life of me remember at all how the conversation started. LOL! That's how I know that I know that I know that it was an opening direct from God. I just know that it was perfectly orchestrated by the Almighty Himself.

Here's the story.....

I normal don't work with customers in the branch, my bankers do.  Today was no different. Plus, I am in the process of moving back to the Hendersonville branch on Monday, so I am also trying to tie up lose ends before I leave, so again I wasn't taking any customers into my office.  A teller called my office and said there was a lady in the lobby who just needed to reorder checks, so I went out in the lobby to get her. A really nice lady, about my age walked into my office. We just got to talking, and she said that she thought who she knew me from somewhere, asked where I went to church. After a couple of minutes, we realized she bought furniture from me at my previous job a couple of years ago. Well we got to talking, and before I knew it I was telling her my story.  Telling her where I had been....but also where God had taken me.

It was an amazing opportunity. I was so calm, no tears (if you know me, that's a BIG deal!), no searching for the right words, no feeling embarrassed or ashamed of my past, I just talked to her. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone,  but that she could do it, and there were better things out there for her.

My favorite part in the whole conversation was I told her when I finally realized that I was worthy of God's love, and let Him love on me was when everything changed.  I let Him show me what love really was. I told her how God turned everything around for me and my girls.  I told her I wasn't perfect, but that once I finalized listened to His voice....I got on the right path, the one He had chosen for me all along.

As she left my office, almost in tears, she thanked me for the hope and encouragement I had offered her.  She said that she remembered me from the furniture store time, and I really looked happier to her now. And as she left she said she was glad that she ran into me by chance.

But it wasn't by chance, my amazingly loving full of grace Father knew exactly what was going to happen today. I don't even know her name, but I do know that I was supposed to talk to her today.  All the way home I thanked Him for the opportunity, the words and the strength...and I prayed for her to feel His arms around her, to let it give her the strength and courage to move on and be the strong woman that God intended for her to be.

I love that I am at a place that I can tell me story, and share about how hard it was and it be able to help other women. My God is truly amazing, and I thank Him for using me to be a light in this world.

New Beginnings

I had quit blogging for a long time because my typical reason to blog was to complain or whine or cry about something. So when life got good (Thank you God! More about that later...) I didn't even consider blogging anymore. Well, then I decided I not only missed it, but I had a lot to say. LOL! Any of you that know me know that is definitely true.

Anyways, I wrote very openly about what was going on in my life for a long time, all the dirty details, no holds barred. Simply because I felt like there was someone out there that needed to hear it, someone that needed to know she wasn't alone, needed to find some hope in my mess.  I felt very strongly that there was a specific someone that I was supposed to reach.

Well, in the last couple of days I have realized I still have that call on my life.  There is someone out there who needs to hear my story, especially now. To know there is HOPE, there is NEW LIFE, there is a rainbow after the storm, that God is good and He still listens and He still blesses people beyond their wildest dreams.

So here I am....this blog is going to be a little bit of everything....
Some days it will be my mountain where I shout at the top of my lungs how amazingly happy I am.
Some days it will be my soapbox for my latest issue with the world.
Some days it will be a recipe exchange, where I can post about my newest food find.
Some days it will be a place for me to brag about my newest craft idea.
But every day it will be my place to thank God for everything....the storms, the fun, the joy, the glue and glitter, the chicken...
all of it!